The hell with this. Literally. This book is awful and you should only use it as a form of torture that walks right up to several Geneva convention lines, but does not cross them. Or, IDK, please allow me to be my worst self for a moment: spelunking, sex, and the occasional mention of Earnest Shackleton for James Patterson aficionados.

For the sake of my own memory: This is the farthest I have ever gotten into a book and quit without finishing. 91% complete and trying to listen while cleaning my destroyed kitchen (I'm not exaggerating-- I'm missing 1/4 of my cupboards and counters in a repair/remodel and the week was dedicated to making 200+ cake balls to sell for gifted kid marketplace and everything was covered in sugar and dried melting chocolate and dishes piled literally everywhere and people just kept making piles and I was about to run amok and burn the place down) anyway, my destroyed kitchen and who the hell knows who's where in which part of this giant cave that seems to just grow and shrink at will and characters die or don't, and now Milo and the doctor have found The Garden of Eden. Or something? And the one explorer dude's journal? And they're reliving Genesis 3? Except this time Eve-- the doctor-- is right and keeps feeding people unforbidden cave locusts and explaining how there is no God, but with math, but also telepathically, but also with altars and tentacles? Ain't nobody got time for this.