what a batshit story. who sits there and thinks "oh yeah im gonna write a story about a monster growing from a little boy's lung. sick." (i say that with love).
ill be honest and say i found it hard to read this book. not because it was boring, or because it was bad per say, but grief is always a hard read for me. shocker im not the first person to know someone whos passed away 😱 but idk this book very much hit the primal feelings i have of grief. something something ties into the overall themes of this book especially with M yap yap yap. i fear i am not eloquent enough to articulate that. so pretend i wrote something coherent there.
the first quarter of this book in magos' POV was HARDDDDDD. i honeslty found myself really disliking magos, so it was hard for me to connect with this book when i hated everything this woman stood for. who the fuck cuts a piece out of a dead body. no i am not questioning how someone grieves im questioning why. its explained why in the book but still. Why. and then why oh why would you fucking FEED IT. yet again not grief shaming but..... Ok! idk i found her very grating. you could probably say i didnt like her as much because her grief for santiago was atypical but honestly she was just pissing me off. yes grief is irrrational but i am autistic. i do not make the rules i just have to follow them set out by my little autistic brain. and my little autistic brain says that bitch is crazy!!!!!! also not her doing lena dirty again and again and again!!!!!! magos hates sapphics confirmed (this is a joke i do not think magos hates sapphic people). i just couldnt fucking stand magos. she was almost mythic in her insanity. everyone around her was sane meanwhile why is this bitch running the show??????????
i enjoyed lena to begin with, but once she became a people pleaser in my mind she could join magos in my shit bucket. by the end these two wouldve probably nuked a whole country for M and i just couldnt grasp it. yet again autism brain is running the show here. joseph was really the only tolerable member of the main cast, and i only enjoyed M when i got to see from his POV. shout out to uncle luke tho he really matched M's freak i live.
the plot of the book almost felt... dare i say dumb? not dumb as in shit writing from the author. dumb as in.... bro why are yall jumping over so many hoops for this mf. like again and again and again M keeps showing his monstrous side and everyone around him is like "omg baby grill its ok <3". like i get it, its showing just how far parents will go for their kids, especially in grief, ESPECIALLY magos, but... at some point i cannot suspend my disbelief anymore. and dont get me started on the time skip. i do think the time skip worked, i just found it so incomprehensible M hadnt gone on numerous murder sprees during the skip. like how is he undetected. How. yes yes magical realism but idk it felt Too Magical for me. we're in a contemporary setting but yet im sat here picturing M as peter when he turns into a fucking monkey from jumanji. LIKE I JUST CANT NOT PICTURE IT LIKE THAT IM SORRY. like homie essentially can dislocate his entire jaw and youre telling me hes been living like a Normal Guy. oh ok! like idk the constant passes M gets where hes like "man i just want to eat another family pet"... i feel bad for him. like dude should not have existed in the first place and i can almost feel his despair over this fact in the book which i loved. M solos. but the human cast? everyone except uncle luke can kick rocks. joe is on thin fucking ice.
also side note but i love that M being gay is literally just like. "oh ok. anyways dont eat ur crush M or they'll die". the way sapphic and achillean rep is handled in this book was really sweet, and this book excelled there.
well, what else do i have to say? i am terrified of raw meat, and i dont think ill be doing a jumanji rewatch anytime soon.