So I stayed up until 2am finishing a book, so what? It's been a while since I've done that. I feel like that's what this book does-it's nostalgia and tropes wrapped up in one angst-filled wild ride. You can definitely tell Klune wrote this more at the start of his career, because it feels a little like something someone wrote in creative writing class. I say this because of the sheer angst. About 75% of this novel is just pure angst. It actually bothered that so little time and consideration was left to the post-angst consequences and comfort. The book only has 1 chapter of reconciliation after the very angsty and dramatic climax, and it is not enough time to come to terms emotionally with everything that happened. Gordo, Ox's brother-father figure doesn't even have any screen time in this last chapter to process anything and I feel cheated.

The pacing is off in other places, too. I don't understand why this book starts where it does. It starts on Ox's 16th birthday when he gets new neighbors and their 10 year old son latches onto him. The pace is slow and meandering as Ox integrates into their family, discovers tragic backstory, and his haunted by his own. The blurb mentions a tragic murder. It doesn't happen until about the 50% mark. From there, the love interest, Joe, splits off and they are separated. It's giving the New Moon depression montage. It's not until about 75% of the way through when Joe returns that feels like the true heart of the novel. I think a lot should have been trimmed on the front-end and more meat in the back end. While Ox growing up and learning to find his family is touching, I don't think it merited quite so much page-space, especially if the conflict resolution in the last half.

Also surprising: the sex scenes. I wasn't expecting them, I don't often read smut, but I found I really enjoyed these. I realized I could really feel the difference when a gay man was writing the scene--I feel as if most of the smut I do read is written by women. You could really tell a man who loves men wrote this.

I have very conflicting feeling about the age gap. 6 years isn't that much in the grand scheme of things, but they met when Ox was 16 and Joe was 10. Yes, there's weird wolf-magic that makes them like Chosen that Ox doesn't understand, but all the wolves do. It was very much You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster?! IDK for me it's when you meet. If I meet someone as a child they're forever a child to me. There's a point when Ox starts dating as a young teen and Joe gets jealous. The literal child?? Why did the book start here? Or at least why did it spend so much time on their childhood? This confuses me.

Also, I can definitely tell a younger person wrote this, because when Joe is 17, he decides he has to leave for angst reasons and doesn't return until 3 years later. For those 3 years the split off members were living rough, hiding and hunting in the backcountry. And literally all I could think was "Joe does not even have a high school degree, he never finished high school, how is he supposed to be 'leading a pack' or doing angsty whatever when he probably doesn't even know how to calculate a hypotenuse?" When you're young you're like "yeah this feels great for the story" but when you get a bit older it's like "where are your parents, it is past your bedtime."

But there are so many things about the book I loved. Ox is disabled. A lot of his trauma comes from his deadbeat father calling him "slow" and "stupid" and telling him nobody could love him before he dips. I took a special joy in watching him become a cherished member of the Bennet family and grow into himself as a leader. The writing style captures Ox's unique voice and speech patterns so extremely well. There weren't a lot of female characters, but when there were, they were awesome. I really liked Jessie. The found family vibes (in between the overwhelming angst) were top notch. There were no weird heteronormative expectations on the MM couple (none of this top/bottom nonsense) and when it comes to fantasy relationships, it was an alpha/alpha relationship which is a subversion of a lot of omegaverse tropes (thank you tumblr, for allowing me to know this).

Overall, a very fun and nostalgic read that feels like a response to the Twilight era, but gayer. The angst and drama and fun sex scenes really took me back to high school, which is why I found myself up until 2am finishing this book, just like I did back then.

3.5/5 gay werewolf knockoff Twilight stars