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A review by broiledink
Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli
5.0
***character reveal spoiler***
4.75/5
everyone who read this book said this, but i’ll say it again anyway. THIS BOOK SO WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!! and I mean it.
Starting this book, I was taken away by the hilarious protagonist that is is Simon Spier. I mean... here, just read this:
“I couldn’t believe how much there was to choose from: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hooking up in thousands of ways in every broom closet at Hogwarts. I found the ones with decent grammar and stayed up reading all night. It was a weird couple of weeks. That was the summer I taught myself how to do laundry. There are some socks that shouldn’t be washed by your mom.”
and, really the book was funny all the way through. It never failed to make me smile.
“Wow, is that Katniss making out with Yoda?”
“I take a sip of my beer, and it’s—I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.”
and finally, one of my favorites.
“And suddenly, I’m hard, and I know he is, too. It’s thrilling and strange and completely terrifying.
“What are you thinking about?” Bram says.
“Your mom.”
“Noooo,” he says, laughing.”
nOOOOOO
anyway, this book was so lighthearted. I felt really connected with Simon, and I felt all those angsty feelings he had, either with his friends or with wanting to find out who Blue was. (a proud mention: I KIND OF KNEW IT WAS BRAM SINCE BECKY ALBERTALLI WROTE THOSE SACRED LINES IN CHAPTER 11)
“But I have this theory that Bram’s probably really funny inside his own head. I don’t even know why I think that.
But seriously: whatever inside jokes he has with himself, I think I’d like to be in on them.”
and when we finally got the character reveal, my heart was flooding with so much happiness basically, I think I had to suppress four or five fat tears.
THIS BOOK WAS SO CUTE. The only one who’s not cute is LEAH. Just like Simon says, “I don’t even know. I’m just so sick of straight people who can’t get their shit together.” and honestly, same. there was so much unwanted drama. and Leah felt kind of stuck up and annoying as HELL. plus, the girl acting her part in the trailer kind of made me really detest her 😂 ITS JUST ME OK. Also, Martin got me fucked. up. I was literally speechless how can someone be such a moneky’s asshole. like even his apology was dumb.
NO ONE SHOULD BE FORCED TO COME OUT. THAT IS SO FUCKED UP.
anyway, i really recommend picking up this book if you’re in for a delicious contemporary that will make your heart burst with cute romantic lines like these
“He kisses like Elliott Smith sings.”
also, they mentioned Frank Ocean and that was it for me. JUST MENTION FRANK OCEAN AND I WILL LOVE YOU.
and now that the movie is coming out, 2018 is starting to look more promising!
4.75/5
everyone who read this book said this, but i’ll say it again anyway. THIS BOOK SO WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!! and I mean it.
Starting this book, I was taken away by the hilarious protagonist that is is Simon Spier. I mean... here, just read this:
“I couldn’t believe how much there was to choose from: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hooking up in thousands of ways in every broom closet at Hogwarts. I found the ones with decent grammar and stayed up reading all night. It was a weird couple of weeks. That was the summer I taught myself how to do laundry. There are some socks that shouldn’t be washed by your mom.”
and, really the book was funny all the way through. It never failed to make me smile.
“Wow, is that Katniss making out with Yoda?”
“I take a sip of my beer, and it’s—I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.”
and finally, one of my favorites.
“And suddenly, I’m hard, and I know he is, too. It’s thrilling and strange and completely terrifying.
“What are you thinking about?” Bram says.
“Your mom.”
“Noooo,” he says, laughing.”
nOOOOOO
anyway, this book was so lighthearted. I felt really connected with Simon, and I felt all those angsty feelings he had, either with his friends or with wanting to find out who Blue was. (a proud mention: I KIND OF KNEW IT WAS BRAM SINCE BECKY ALBERTALLI WROTE THOSE SACRED LINES IN CHAPTER 11)
“But I have this theory that Bram’s probably really funny inside his own head. I don’t even know why I think that.
But seriously: whatever inside jokes he has with himself, I think I’d like to be in on them.”
and when we finally got the character reveal, my heart was flooding with so much happiness basically, I think I had to suppress four or five fat tears.
THIS BOOK WAS SO CUTE. The only one who’s not cute is LEAH. Just like Simon says, “I don’t even know. I’m just so sick of straight people who can’t get their shit together.” and honestly, same. there was so much unwanted drama. and Leah felt kind of stuck up and annoying as HELL. plus, the girl acting her part in the trailer kind of made me really detest her 😂 ITS JUST ME OK. Also, Martin got me fucked. up. I was literally speechless how can someone be such a moneky’s asshole. like even his apology was dumb.
NO ONE SHOULD BE FORCED TO COME OUT. THAT IS SO FUCKED UP.
anyway, i really recommend picking up this book if you’re in for a delicious contemporary that will make your heart burst with cute romantic lines like these
“He kisses like Elliott Smith sings.”
also, they mentioned Frank Ocean and that was it for me. JUST MENTION FRANK OCEAN AND I WILL LOVE YOU.
and now that the movie is coming out, 2018 is starting to look more promising!