I think the only appreciation i have for this book is for being probably the first gay book that's become fairly popular. putting that aside, it was so confusing. and also disgusting. mainly disgusting. 

i don't think i fully understood the part where Elio literally declares how much he HATES Oliver and what they did. and his own feelings toward Oliver but then in the next chapter, out of nowhere btw, he still feels "in-love" or whatever you might call it. he's still warm with Oliver and doing stuff with the man. i do not get it. i was just so confused and tried to find the meaning of these moments but found nothing. maybe it was future Elio explaining and declaring that hate because it was their first night together? i am unsure. 

i disliked how unnecessarily disgusting some of the moments the two men share are. like? the one with the peach? i shivered with disgust while reading it. and the next one where Elio licked Oliver's eyelid? fucking hell man... was that needed? i hope they skipped over that part in the movie. 

the relationship was far too romanticized for me to like. especially the slightly

pedo and rape-y

stuff. i know that I've read many books on such topics but i think it bothered me here so much because they were both willing to continue. Oliver could have spoken in a non-encrypted way! he warned Elio, yes, but what about? Elio didn't even know what he meant. also the

rape

part was that first night to me. and i feel like to Elio was too he just didn't know to interpret that as such an act. 

all in all, it was entertaining but most certainly not for me. maybe i'll try the movie but i didn't hear many good things from my friends so the bar is set LOW.