warning: this will probably be one of the most (if not THE most) dramatic entry i have ever written.

it is in times like these where i feel the most grateful for being such a sensitive person. to be able to profoundly connect with a world and its people (who don't even exist), is something i am glad i get to experience. to live is to feel, and i feel HARD. i get to experience life through my own eyes, as well as the characters i read about (how fun!!).

throne of glass has been a JOURNEY. i was able to lose myself in it every single time i stepped into it. the world felt like another home, and the characters felt like friends. saying goodbye to it all literally tore something in me (I'm not kidding, i was literally clawing at my chest. it was kind of funny)

this series and its characters will always hold a special place in my heart. i will remember this as the series that i used to help me escape my grief, only to find characters who grieved within it. and who took their grief with them, no matter where they went, or how much time passed. it eased something in me.

i never thought i would love a series marked as YA (even though i think it should be marketed towards adults) so much at my big grown age of 20 (!!!), but here i am. i think these stories of other worlds allow my inner child to flourish, so i've come to accept that i will continue to allow myself to enjoy them, no matter how old i get :)

throne of glass (in all) was so well executed. everything was thought out: the focus was on the world and the characters, rather than the romance, every single character was well fleshed out (even the side characters. you couldn't help but want to follow up with every single one of them) and it was just such an amazing story from start to finish. we've come a long way from book one (LOL). book 1 compared to this one feels like two different stories.

I contemplated why I might be less embarrassed to express strong emotions about a TV series or film compared to a book. When we watch television and film, we witness real people, while in reading, we construct the appearance and manner of the characters in our minds. so its easy to feel so silly crying over something you (kind of) made up.

but then i think about it a bit more, and don't feel as silly. when we watch something, there is a small sense of disconnect as we are watching these character's lives play out from the sidelines, from a different perspective. but when we read, we co-create a world in our minds, using our imagination to fill the gaps between the words on the page. It makes reading such a uniquely personal experience compared to other forms of media, which is why it makes it easier to feel as if my life is entwined with the characters i am reading about. (Although i do find i get just as emotional finishing a tv series as i do a book series. as i mentioned, im sensitive lol).


anyways, this series wasn't perfect but it was so so special. i'm not sure if i'll ever re read it, because i'd like to preserve the love i feel for it, and reading it when i get a little older might dampen that (this goes for a LOT of books/series i've read. I choose to preserve that first-time-read feeling. lol.).

i will forever be grateful for stories like this, for books and media in general. and i am so sad to say goodbye. can you tell? i don't want to stop writing lol

but i will. okay goodbye