When Joanne met Alan, she knew that she had finally found the love of her life and the man she would grow old with. So when, after twenty years of marriage Alan was diagnosed with a chronic, and terminal illness, Joanne stepped in to care for the man she loved. In this beautiful, heartfelt book, Joanne details her first decades of life living with Alan and all the ordinary ups and downs this entailed until their life changed forever with a MSA diagnosis because of which Alan decided to use his right of Medical Aid in Dying when his illness became too much to bear.

I really appreciated reading this story, and I really liked how personable and heartwarming the entire tone of the book is detailing Joanne and Alan's relationships, and the special love they shared as well as how they both dealt and lived with Alan's illness until he became too ill to live at home. I really admired Joanne for her stepping up as Alan's partner and carer - and this is only a mere few years since she had to care for her mother dying of dementia, as well as her father still living with dementia as well. At a time in their life that Joanne and Alan should have been enjoying their retirement, Alan began to lose some of his independence because of his symptoms, and Joanne had to take on a full-time role as a carer.

There are definitely times when Joanne's narrative becomes a little bit controlling, and times when she herself admits she acts like a bot of Karen, especially when Alan is moved into a care home but honestly, I understood all of this as who wouldn't be worried about relinquishing control of your loved ones medical needs, and the things that make them more comfortable and happy every day. And some of the things that were missed or forgotten by the nurses caring for Alan in the home were kind of alarming.

I really liked how throughout this book, we know that medical aid in dying is something that Alan was always supportive of and it was something he was always willing to take advantage of if it came to it. It was interesting reading this in a country that currently doesn't support this act (but in my opinion should) and how it all works out from a legal, safe and medical standpoint.

The last few chapters of this book are just heartbreaking yet beautiful at the same time from how Alan was able to choose the date he wanted to die, to then go on and be able to say goodbye to all those who loved him. It was really touching and special to read about Alan's last day at home surrounded by his family and close friends, to close his eyes one last time and be at peace. And yes, I cried like a baby when I was reading it.

I'm also glad that Joanne touched on how grateful she was that Alan had decided to die January 2020, and not hold out till later like she asked him to because if he had, Covid would have happened and Joanne may not have even been able to visit Alan in his care home and his last wish may not have happened how he wanted to.

I would urge people to read this book as I just felt like it was very touching and personal and I'm grateful to have been given an insight into something that is painful, selfless and quite beautiful in its own way.