This book is a well-rounded guide that opens up a safe, inviting space for readers to explore what truly works for them. Nagoski uses a unique metaphor of rooms in a house to illustrate her ideas. Instead of traditional rooms like the hallway, kitchen, or bedroom, she introduces “care,” “lust,” “rage,” and “fear” as rooms. She explains that we can reach one emotional state (or “room”) only by passing through an adjacent room and opening a door, with each person’s “floor plan” being unique.

With practical tips and exercises, she guides readers toward a space where exploration and pleasure feel possible, even joyful.

Emily Nagoski writes as she speaks. If you’re unsure if her conversational writing style is for you, read a sample of the book or listen to one of her interviews.