listen, i liked it. i did. friends to lovers, sports gays, need i say more? of course im going to like it. you'd have to fuck up the formula quite royally for me to be like, wow i cant believe this one didnt do it for me.

like, for example: remember running with lions? soccer gays at summer camp, who used to be best friends and then something happened and they grew apart, and now they're in ~forced proximity~ and so they have to make each others booboos better? remember how badly i wanted to like it, and how much i didnt because i simply did not believe a single emotion they had? that is the only time the sports gays have disappointed me, and this -this is the same thing, except ice hockey instead of soccer, which is, like, gayer, apparently? and this time around i fully believe them, got emotionally involved, suffered alongside them, the characters didnt feel like caricatures, et cetera, et cetera.

so. all in all, a good read! we stan! what is the problem, you ask? well. for a whole book about two dudes going at it repeatedly, its pretty fucking misogynistic!

but how, you ask! how come! there's barely any feminine presence in it! there isnt even one girl at camp! well. yes. you'd also be correct there, even though at some point the camp runner dude person says they work with boys and girls who are the best players of blah blah, and its a blatant lie. theres not ONE single, lonesome, solitary girl at camp. though thats not the problem. it is actually worse.

heres the thing: jamie has been straight for as long as he can remember. hes only now dabbling in the gay, which is fine! we love a bi king! so tell me why the girl hes been sort of going out with except not really because they're not commited to any degree or capacity, and who is actually a WHOLE ASS SWEETHEART, keeps getting objectified like THAT. and tell me why the "locker room talk" or whatever the fuck you wanna call it is so abundant, and why nobody shuts it down. and tell me why wes, who i otherwise actually really like, keeps calling his student "ladies" as like, a lil joke. go to the showers, ladies. keep it moving, ladies. why! you're a gay man! quit being offensive! we love your no racism no homophobia no slurs little speech, great track, now give us one where you dont call your team of teenage boys "ladies" to shit on them! and also, theres the time where he's listing the pros of dating a dude and he literally says "you dont have to hear 'but you said we could go to the mall!'" and also, how could i forget: when jamie says hes "had enough experiences" of the women he hooks up with agreeing to be fwb only because they expect he'll change his mind in the end. Man Discovers Women Do Willingly Engage In Casual Sex And Avoid Falling In Love. one more: the time wes thinks jamie is surprised that he "didnt go all chick and demand they talk about what happened between them." nevermind that he, about fifty pages later, finds himself wondering precisely "what are we!!" no comments.

and the issue is, like. this book was written by not one woman, but two. WHY. WHAT WAS THE NEED.

its ENRAGING because thats the only reason im deducting a star, it would have been a chef's kiss read otherwise. im ANGRY and im offended that considering theres even a bisexual character in there, who supposedly likes and appreciates women, the only time he said a smart thing about them was when he pointed out that women aren't always ready for sex when you want them to be, which now that i say it out loud is setting the bar pretty low (though i will clarify he did say it matter of factly and in response to something else, and not as if it was like, a problem. so, you win some, you lose some, i guess.)

and heres one more, and with this one im just leaving the quote because i simply cannot rephrase it: "He's skinnier than i usually like, but not not anorexic thin." HUH????? this comment right here, officer. oh! and at one point, someone gets literally kind of... outed? inadvertedly? and nobody even fucking realizes because i BET MY ASS the authors themselves didnt realize it, and the editors either didnt catch it or didnt care. but i do!!!!! no outing!!!!! bad authors!!!!

i hate that i had to spend this entire review talking about sexism and general bullshit instead of gushing about jamie canning my poor meow meow. i DID connect with the characters, and what angers me is the fact that these comments WERENT EVEN IN CHARACTER, they're shoved in there for ~ambiance~, to show how ~masculine~ and ~sportsy~ and ~not like other gays~ they are, and i- look at me in the eyes, sarina. you too, elle. look me in the eyes. listen to me. THAT IS NOT OKAY. it is not necessary, i would have gotten the hint even if you'd let the misogyny out. alright?

so. thats where i stand. it did pass the bar when it comes to plot execution, both in the sports gay front (aside from, you know, the locker room talk) and in the friends to lovers department, which, considering how many authors get it simply Wrong, i must admit, they got me pretty good. maybe i would have even been able to ignore the breath jamie lets out without even knowing he was holding it, in the name of the hockey gays.

but alas. im angry and disappointed, and yes, i am reading the second book because i know no self control, and yes, the sexism is still rampant as fuck. do i regret reading them? well, no. do i think nobody else should read them? well, no! because who the fuck is going to call this shit out if we dont!!! and since im petty, i will also say the dialogue is sometimes very pretty and emotional and sometimes very cheesy (i swear to god, somebody says "give me the d" to another somebody non ironically at one point), and while at times i was squirming from how fucking cute they are and i really rooted for them, at times i rolled my eyes so hard i was genuinely concerned they'd unhinge and i'd lose them in the inside of my skull where they would bounce round like the dvd logo on the tv screen for the rest of time.

so. do with that as you will.