If you end up reading this - trigger warning for sexual assault, rape, abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, coercive behaviour, drug abuse. Unsure where I am with this book. Written in 2011, but looking back at a six year full time porn career from 2001-2007, when the adult film industry was not internet centred. It's an honest and unflinching look at that time in porn, but as the author is a hardcore/gonzo porn actor, I couldn't help but be enormously triggered and disturbed by the treatment she received from men in both her personal life and the industry, most disturbingly her long term boyfriend. Which brings me on to my next issue - this books biggest content warning should be domestic abuse, as well as the many clear examples of sexual assault that happen. Whilst I definitely got the impression that the author had autonomy and a real love for her work and art, it is ultimately her awful boyfriend who forces her into so many situations, including her career in the first place. I felt so furious at nearly all the men in this book - and then unsure of how the author felt about them when a hasty epilogue assures us at how much fun she was having! I also found an interview of the author spouting some pretty horrific anti-Islamic sentiments, and once l'd watched that I found it pretty hard to return to her first person narrative.