My heart hurts. Like its in so much pain.

This book has no reason to make me feel this much heartache; and yet it did.

Simply wicked and extremely well-written

The fact this book made me had the same feelings after reading any Higashino novels - says a lot about the story. Its cruel. Its vicious and its still so bloody heartbreaking . It really shows how adults can really affects a child's perspective and upbringing, either in choosing to be good or to be evil.

And that's the part of society that has to be blamed - to the adults that didn't know any better.
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The premise of the story is simple. ( I won't be telling much so it will be as spoiler free as possible )
Its of:
- Three Children who saw something that they shouldn't have.
- A murderer who didn't think he was going to get caught.
- A scheme of multiple plans that may or may not gone astray.
- A retired police officer who holds an objective ground.

Combined altogether to get a plot that will break your heart, showed how much children's lives are affected due to the irresponsible decisions of the adults around them, and mostly, of how much the society had failed to protect those who needed protection the most.
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If you eventually come to my review after reading the book, know that I don't condone ANY actions done by ANYONE in here nor do I support the children's behaviours as well. I would say the author had done just a splendid job in building the characters in the story. Each character was flawed to a fault and yet, the feeling of not knowing who to blame will undoubtedly questions your moral, it will also hit a bullet to your heart for how unfair situations and desperations had lead to to a change of events that will change the trajectory of a person's life forever.

I feel that the author is smart and just... wicked in his own way. He had subtly included the faults of the system interlaced with the story itself. How society and class can ruin a person's judgment, how broken homes and foundations leads to a child's demise. Reading it makes me SO. FREAKING. FRUSTRATED. Who should I blame? Can this person change? Why do they have to end up the way they did?

Its amazing that the span of 326 pages has gotten me to feel so much. The writing is not only engaging but it will make you question yourself again and again - who is at fault? I also feel that its clever of the author to subtly include who I feel is supposedly the main character ( like Yukawa ) in the book. The professor's moral compass is somewhat familiar - in a sense of the characteristic in which made it have a Higashino vibe to it. (and no I'm not comparing these two authors but more of letting people know the feel of it.

I would say its a novel that will leaves you to question and ponder a lot, but its also a reminder to us to be kind to ourselves - especially when our lives were beaten from the start due to our environment.

5 Amazing Stars This book gave me such a whirlwind of emotions - I almost can't handle it.
Biggest thank you to the translator : Michelle Deeter and biggest kudos to Pushkin Press for putting out great translated works. And my biggest gratitude is to @definitelybooks for this copy, I can't put in words how thankful I am.