This is a very intriguing (and sometimes disturbing) book that I enjoyed immensely.

I think, for me, the most intriguing part of this book was the Mormon part. I know people who prioritize food storage in preparation for the upcoming (and imminent) apocalypse. I know people who feel that higher education is dangerous and a waste of time. I know people who still mostly rely on the words of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young (as opposed to more modern LDS leaders or to those outside the LDS church) to guide their life decisions. And I know way too many people who are racist and sexist and who feel that God endorses their discriminatory behaviors and attitudes. So, in a lot of ways, this book was a painful reminder of what's wrong with the LDS church and especially with some aspects of Mormon culture.

That was especially painful as I read about Tara Westover's BYU experience. We definitely had different experiences at BYU (I wasn't shocked if my roommates drank diet Coke, for example), but ultimately, we attended the same school - and only really a few years apart. A lot of the attitudes that the author encountered were very familiar to me - especially when a male colleague expressed that something must be wrong with women who have career aspirations. At BYU, a lot of women still feel the need to justify their desire for education - "I'll need a degree so I can get a job if my husband dies," and "Getting this degree will help me be a better mother." It's definitely not very acceptable at BYU for a woman to talk about her degree and education as an accomplishment for herself - it always must go back to how it will benefit her husband and children. The author's discussion of polygamy was fascinating as well. Westover describes a conversation getting awkward when she doesn't deliver the obligatory "But God is in charge of polygamy, so it will be okay in the end" line - which is actually a very real societal expectation and legitimate belief among Mormons. We definitely attended the same school because these attitudes are all too familiar to me.

However, even without the personal connection, this is a compelling book. The author writes well and clearly about her experience and does an excellent job of describing her changing attitudes and beliefs as she grows up. I loved the honesty - like admitting to not knowing about the Holocaust until she attended college or not understanding how ibuprofen works (and that it wouldn't kill her) until someone offered it to her outside her home. This book must have taken a lot of strength and resilience to write and I really admire her for it.

And her depictions of abuse are so honest. The author's thought processes over time must have been difficult for her to remember and write - but she captures her changing attitudes towards her family (and especially her brother) in a very raw way. And I loved the acknowledgement that her attitudes changed over time. It would be easy to condemn her family from the beginning of the book, but instead, it feels like you go on the journey with the author - you're there with her as she begins to realize how abusive her brother really is and how bizarre her family situation has gotten.

Highly recommended for anyone interested in reading intense memoirs or books about people dedicated to educating themselves. Especially recommended to LDS and Mormon-adjacent folks - we could use a reminder periodically about the extremist side of Mormon philosophy and how toxic it is.