“If I’m being honest there’s a lot of anger. I am angry at this old Korean woman i don't know; that she gets to live and my mother does not. Like somehow this stranger’s survival is at all related to my loss; that someone my mother’s age could still have a mother. Why is she here slurping up spicy jjamppong noodles and my mom isn’t? Other people must feel this way. Life is unfair, and sometimes it helps to irrationally blame someone for it.”

Any time someone recommends a memoir to read I always go in with the assumption that a parent dies somewhere in the course of their story. Having lost a parent myself in my early twenties this assumption has helped me to brace myself before I decide to start reading. This one though was the most impressive encapsulation of grief I have ever encountered. It left me broken down and weeping uncontrollably on my kitchen floor.

Zauner expertly captures what it feels like to watch someone slowly fade away from the world. Rather than focusing on a sequential progression of how good or bad a parent her mom was in life, the memoir jumps around as needed to give a full picture of what death feels like to the people witnessing it. Crying In H Mart is the most approachable and thorough look at grief’s reach. The fact that she managed to write this incredible piece in her early 30s while also being a Grammy-nominated rock star is truly impressive.