When I was buying this book, the woman behind the counter at Barnes & Noble held it in both of her hands for a second, smiled, and said "You haven't seen the movie yet, right?" I said no. She smiled even bigger and said "Good. Definitely read it first. I'm so jealous of anyone reading this book for the first time." She then went on to tell me how much she loved it and how some parts are very darkly humorous while others are very poignant.

Turns out, that's probably the most articulate way to describe this book. Within the first 15 pages, I was rummaging around for a pen so I could start underlining passages and making notes. The juxtaposition of emotion just works so well in this book.

The basic premise is this: Judd Foxman's father dies, and though his father wasn't religious at all, he and his three siblings are told that their dad wanted the whole family to sit Shiva (the Jewish mourning period) for 7 days. This poses some problems as the family has a lot of issues and, despite their celebrity psychologist mother, are quite dysfunctional (as families tend to be). While all of this is happening, Judd's life is coming unglued. He's recently discovered that his wife was cheating on him for over a year... with his boss. During Shiva, he sneaks out of the house regularly and reconnects with a woman who had basically put him in the Friend Zone in high school. Just when it seems like something will finally work out for them, his wife shows up to announce that she's pregnant... with his child. Add to that the realization that his mother appears to have been in a side-relationship ... with the woman down the street ... and there are some pretty intricate things happening. I loved it because that's how life is. The shit storm never drizzles. It pours. Always.

While there is plenty of dark humor to be had here, these moments (which, as the clerk at Barnes & Noble called them, can best be described as poignant) crop up in the midst of them that make you feel a little sad or contemplative. Because as Judd is forced to spend the week with his older sister Wendy, older brother Paul (and Paul's wife, Judd's ex-girlfriend from high school, Alice), younger brother Phillip (and Phillip's much older girlfriend/life coach, Tracy), and his mother, he's forced to reflect about the relationships he's had in the past with his family versus the relationship he has now and, by the end, the relationship he wants to have. They have to settle scores and learn about each other as adults instead of children -- not being particularly close, they haven't spent a whole lot of time together.

Also, in realizing that he's going to be a father, he starts to think more about his relationship with his own dad. He says at the beginning of the book that it wasn't a very good one. His dad was kind of aloof and they weren't terribly close. He didn't even really think that his dad was that great of a person. But as he and his siblings start talking, and as his own thoughts on becoming a father start to process, he realizes that it wasn't that his dad didn't love him. He starts to remember his relationship with his dad when he was a child, and how much fun it was. He realizes that his dad was just better with them when they were kids, and didn't really know how to interact with them as adults. He didn't know what to do with them and maybe didn't really understand them. And the kids, for their part, never really gave him the chance to learn, assuming that he was an asshole who wasn't even interested. And it's then that he begins to really miss and mourn his father. He even begins having dreams about him as he was when Judd was a child.

There is a scene in which Judd rushes to the hospital because Jen thinks she is having a miscarriage (during their marriage, she had numerous miscarriages, all of which were sad for them, but none more heartbreaking than when she had to give birth to their stillborn child). While he's there, Wade (his ex-boss who is now Jen's boyfriend) shows up and they get into a confrontation. Things come to a head and Judd physically attacks Wade. Once he's outside with his little brother Phillip, who drove him to the hospital, they find Wade's Maserati and take a tire iron to it. That is how Judd finally starts to feel calm and clear. It's interesting (and more true to life, I think) that destruction brings about this calmness and clarity, while at the same time, the reconstruction of his family brings about so much chaos.

I enjoyed all of the character dynamics, but none more so than Judd and Phillip. Phillip is the youngest child, the baby of the family, and he's screwed up a lot. He's made a lot of mistakes, and so the older siblings come to think of him as a screw-up. But their relationship with him changes as they get to learn about who he really is and love him for it. By the end, they know that he probably still has more screwing up to do, but they're willing to accept that and give him a chance to prove that he wants to change. This reminded me so much of my own brother that it made me want to cry sometimes.

This is a very enjoyable read. My only regret is that I couldn't find an edition that didn't have the movie still on the cover, but that's minor, I suppose. It's a fast and dynamic read, moving through the ups and downs as life does. I definitely recommend it.