Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

Life has been days and months and years of dread interspersed with seconds of sheer terror. Honestly, I can’t think of any other way for us to exist.

The first non-romance I’ve read in a long time, and what a good time it was. I used to love reading all kinds of thrillers, and this might be one of my favorites. The entire story felt like nothing I’ve read before. It was like I could see and smell the rural West Virginia environment with every page, and I could feel every character’s frustration and hopelessness.

The main character, Miles, is a transgender boy and neurodivergent, and it is written so well. One of the most interesting stories I’ve read in a long time, and all of the characters felt original and distinct, no matter how big or small part they played in the story. Everyone was flawed. The exploration of generational trauma, structural poverty, abuse of power, capitalism, etc. might sound like a lot, like it would feel forced to drive the political thriller side of the plot, but it felt so natural and seamless.

It’s unnerving to see your entire personality reflected back at you under the symptom list of a developmental disorder.

There’s no romance in the book, but it does explore Miles’ sexuality and gender identity, which I thought was done well in the middle of all the violence and plot.

This book is graphic and brutal. It’s honest and unromantic, and I loved it. Highly recommend.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & content tags ⚠️
Trans character
Queer fiction
Neurodivergent character
Thriller
Political themes
Political thriller
Rural America
Self-discovery
Themes of gender identity
Themes of sexual identity
YA novel
Aromantic character

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Graphic details of murder (past, family member)
Deadnaming of main character (on page)
Misgendering of main character (on page)
Detailed mention of dog being killed (past)
Alcohol consumption
Details of past severe injury (parent)
Mentions of compulsions resulting in self harm (picking at skin, past)
MC physically assaulted (off page, detailed)
MC hospitalized (detailed injuries)
Corrupt police
On-page death of side character (bad guy)
Graphic description of murdered SC
Discussions of drug addiction (OxyContin)
Mentions of child being filmed in the shower (past)
Opioid withdrawal (on page)
Vomiting
Structural poverty
Underage drinking
Homophobic slur
Gun violence
Detailed skinning and processing of animal (deer)
Graphic murder of SC (on page)
MC forcibly outed as trans against their will
Insecurities related to facial and body disfigurement (SC)
SC eviscerated and killed (off page, detailed)
MC injured (gunshot wound, on page)

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: N/A
Other person drama: N/A
Breakup: N/A
POV: 1st person, single
Genre: YA, queer fiction, thriller
Pairing: N/A
Strict roles or versatile: N/A
Main characters’ age: 16
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: No
Pages: 416
Happy ending: Hopeful

When a good chunk of your emotions are expressed manually—when you have to actively decide to frown, or grimace, or whatever’s expected at the moment—there’s hardly any point in expressing the negative ones. Showing pain or exhaustion on purpose feels manipulative.

The physical part of it sounds like fun, but the rest? I don’t get the appeal. Still, I memorized the symptoms. It’s all stereotypical. Butterflies in the stomach, an adrenaline rush at the idea of whoever, getting nervous and stammering, that sort of thing.
I dunno. That sounds like a fear response to me.


You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?igsh=MWZ3azhkdDc2Y2ludg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr