I wanted to love this book, since if you're paying $27 for a hardcover in this economy you better love it. But I unfortunately was not wowed. The premise and the hook are very interesting. And the idea of coming face to face with death as someone obsessed with one day finding meaning in your own was profound, if not a little sophomoric in its execution at times. I loved the twist, I loved how Cyrus was characterized before going to NYC, that whole concept of him acting out scenes of death in hospitals works really well for his character. His at-times overtly obnoxious fixation on his own death and his general mopey self-pitying worked for me. In Cyrus I see the whining whimpering self-importance of every English major at my school. Akbar is aware of this, and sometimes makes fun of him. But not enough, I fear. It still worked for me though.

On the line level, this book did not work for me for a few reasons. Akbar is clearly a poet and his work as one informs his prose. This worked for me when Ocean Vuong did it but it does not work here. There are too many lines that are like "Cyrus felt this way, like [vague, self-important yet simplistic simile]". Sometimes it worked, and when it did, it did. But most times it did not. Too many images that are too vacuous to mean anything to me. Yap, yap, yap.

I also do not like when books include a character's own writing in them. I felt bad for not liking the little snippets of Cyrus' Book of Martyrs. I felt embarrassed for not liking them, because I feel that I likely should have at least not disliked them. Sorry, Cyrus. I also hate when books include dream sequences? It is just a vestige of contemporary novels that I despise. Maybe it is because I am still informed by my spitting hatred of Melissa Broder's 2021 nightmare, Milk Fed. But I do not like these strange, faux-philosophical dream sequences. The relationships between characters, specifically Roya and Leila's, were not particularly convincing to me. And I love some secret lesbianism. Dykes rule the world. But it just didn't do it for me. Cyrus and Zee's strange sexual friendship-romance a little more convincing. But what was that ending? Confusing. A little overbearing. A lott-a overbearing, actually. Conceited. Pompous? Yeah. 

This book just didn't do it for me. I miss my $27 dollars.