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A review by glennleb
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
4.0
-This feels kind of like the masculine equivalent to RWK’s more feminine braiding sweetgrass. The tone is sometimes very welcoming, but also a little belittling. It made me think a lot about how I have autodomesticated myself and offered an excellent guidance and the benefits that unlearning offers. I also liked the distinction that while it feels like we are challenging our own original ideas, it is really external ideals we have agreed too.
"That is why we need a great deal of courage to challenge our own beliefs. Because even if we know we didn't choose all these beliefs, it is also true that we agreed to all of them. The agreement is so strong that even if we understand the concept of it not being true, we feel the blame, the guilt, and the shame that occur if we go against these rules."
" If someone is not treating you with love and
respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you... your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself make the right choices.
"We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works."
"The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don't understand, ask."
"Imagine living without the fear of loving and not being loved. You are no longer afraid to be rejected, and you don't have the need to be accepted. You can say "I love you" with no shame or justification. You can walk in the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt. Imagine living your life without being afraid to take a risk and to explore life. You are not afraid to lose anything. You are not afraid to be alive in the world, and you are not afraid to die."
"That is why we need a great deal of courage to challenge our own beliefs. Because even if we know we didn't choose all these beliefs, it is also true that we agreed to all of them. The agreement is so strong that even if we understand the concept of it not being true, we feel the blame, the guilt, and the shame that occur if we go against these rules."
" If someone is not treating you with love and
respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you... your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself make the right choices.
"We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works."
"The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don't understand, ask."
"Imagine living without the fear of loving and not being loved. You are no longer afraid to be rejected, and you don't have the need to be accepted. You can say "I love you" with no shame or justification. You can walk in the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt. Imagine living your life without being afraid to take a risk and to explore life. You are not afraid to lose anything. You are not afraid to be alive in the world, and you are not afraid to die."