This is the book I was looking for when my daughter was in kindergarten and started talking about and asking about the size and shapes of bodies. As a parent who wants to challenge the typical ways of thinking about food and bodies—her own, and others—I have longed for advice beyond “don’t talk about or comment on her body or say anything negative about your own.” That’s not enough! But what more should I do to support and encourage acceptance and love for all bodies? Here are some answers. And here are studies reported in accessible language. And here are interviews with parents and doctors and psychologists and dietitians and generally smart people who are leading the way to acknowledging that bodies do indeed come in all shapes and sizes, that smaller does not mean better, and that a lower number on the scale is not morally superior.

I wish my grandmother had read this book and allowed herself to believe it. And my mother. And my teachers, and my daughter’s teachers. And really everyone. We can stop perpetuating harm while thinking we are being helpful to our children (and ourselves!). There is another way.