Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

It’s almost like I was looking for the pain and the hurt, because it was easier to live with the idea that, even though I want love, I’m not the kind of person who deserves to be loved.

Wow, what a beautiful story. This is one of those that probably everyone should read. Being a teenager is messy. Navigating friendships, new relationships, school? It’s messy. If you add being Black, queer, trans, as well as trying to figure out your gender identity? It’s difficult and beyond messy. Felix is a flawed, young character, making his way through life, trying to find out what he wants in life as well as who he is, and the way it’s explored and written was so, so good. I don’t often read YA (because hello angst, they don’t hold back), and while this for sure had its angsty moments, I couldn’t stop listening. The audiobook was really good and the narrator did a fab job with it.

I had tears in my eyes during so many of the scenes, including every time Felix wrote his mom an email. I’m beyond lucky to say I’ve never had to face non-acceptance, but the way it was tackled in this story was really powerful. Sometimes bigotry is loud and overt, and other times it’s quiet and looks like silence from those who are supposed to love you.

It makes me wonder if I am Felix, no matter how loud I shout that name.

I wish I could make my dad and a few acquaintances read this book. Maybe reading an own voices story like this would do them some good.

Ugh, and also, exploring the themes of someone feeling like they *deserve* love? Makes me cry every time. You just want to give the person a shake and say ‘of course you deserve love!’. If only it were that simple.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & content tags ⚠️
YA
Coming of age
Queer fiction
Black MC
Trans rep
Self-discovery
Gender identity
Falling in love
Own voices
Love triangle

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Drug use (smoking marijuana, on page)
MC deadnamed by parent and SCs
MC’s old photos and deadname posted publically
Underage drinking
Harry Potter references
Themes of transphobia/transphobic comments
MC catfishing SC
Themes of abandonment

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No, but there’s a love triangle with kissing and light petting with two people
Other person drama: Yes, love triangle
Breakup: No, but a couple weeks of no contact during fight pre-relationship
POV: 1st person, single
Genre: YA, queer fiction, coming of age, romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: N/A
Main characters’ age: 17 and 17
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: No
Pages: 362
Happy ending: Yes


It’s like I’m constantly trying to prove that I deserve love—but how can I, when even my own mom doesn’t love me?




You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?igsh=MWZ3azhkdDc2Y2ludg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr