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A review by mediaevalmuse
Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair by Sarah Schulman
5.0
I initially became interested in this book after seeing it quoted on Tumblr. The user was using it to analyze some questionable fandom behavior, and the book looked interesting enough that I went out and bought a copy.
Overall, I found Schulman's text to be incredibly thought-provoking, grounded, and honest. The premise (if I can sum it up in a sentence) is that overstating harm can lead to a refusal to resolve conflicts, which in turn does nothing but destroy communities and enhanced the power of the State (which only has dominant group interests in mind). This thesis is generally very well-supported; Schulman selected effective examples as case studies and was convincing in her arguments, moving from interpersonal relationships to wider geopolitics in a way that was clear and sensible. In fact, I found Schulman's arguments to be so convincing that for chapters where I had some skepticism going in, I found myself understanding and coming around to Schulman's point of view by the end.
I think I also benefitted from reading this book at the time I did. I not only read it around the time I read Jon Ronson's "So You've Been Publicly Shamed," but also during renewed aggression by Israel against Palestine. As a result, Schulman's points about shunning and shame made me think about group behavior and conflict on social media, while the chapter on Israel-Palestine in 2015 remained sadly relevant to Israel-Palestine in 2023-2024. If either of these topics are of interest to you, I think you would benefit from this book.
That being said, I don't think I'd recommend this text to just about everybody. Despite Schulman's constant insistence that she is primarily a novelist, she does write with an academic tenor that may be difficult for some readers. I also think this book might be difficult for people who are unwilling or unable to reflect on the harmful behavior perpetuated by specific groups: supremacists certainly, but also progressives and various victimized groups. Schulman asks queer people, women, people with trauma, etc to take a good look at their own behaviors, and some people might not be so open to that. Still, the work is important and necessary for social cohesion, so even if the subject is difficult, I think it's worth engaging with.
TL;DR: Conflict is Not Abuse is a deeply insightful book about the way humans defend themselves from discomfort, offloading conflict resolution onto the state in a way that empowers dominant (and often oppressive) groups. While some readers might struggle with the writing, the study within is as relevant to today as to its original 2016 audience.
Overall, I found Schulman's text to be incredibly thought-provoking, grounded, and honest. The premise (if I can sum it up in a sentence) is that overstating harm can lead to a refusal to resolve conflicts, which in turn does nothing but destroy communities and enhanced the power of the State (which only has dominant group interests in mind). This thesis is generally very well-supported; Schulman selected effective examples as case studies and was convincing in her arguments, moving from interpersonal relationships to wider geopolitics in a way that was clear and sensible. In fact, I found Schulman's arguments to be so convincing that for chapters where I had some skepticism going in, I found myself understanding and coming around to Schulman's point of view by the end.
I think I also benefitted from reading this book at the time I did. I not only read it around the time I read Jon Ronson's "So You've Been Publicly Shamed," but also during renewed aggression by Israel against Palestine. As a result, Schulman's points about shunning and shame made me think about group behavior and conflict on social media, while the chapter on Israel-Palestine in 2015 remained sadly relevant to Israel-Palestine in 2023-2024. If either of these topics are of interest to you, I think you would benefit from this book.
That being said, I don't think I'd recommend this text to just about everybody. Despite Schulman's constant insistence that she is primarily a novelist, she does write with an academic tenor that may be difficult for some readers. I also think this book might be difficult for people who are unwilling or unable to reflect on the harmful behavior perpetuated by specific groups: supremacists certainly, but also progressives and various victimized groups. Schulman asks queer people, women, people with trauma, etc to take a good look at their own behaviors, and some people might not be so open to that. Still, the work is important and necessary for social cohesion, so even if the subject is difficult, I think it's worth engaging with.
TL;DR: Conflict is Not Abuse is a deeply insightful book about the way humans defend themselves from discomfort, offloading conflict resolution onto the state in a way that empowers dominant (and often oppressive) groups. While some readers might struggle with the writing, the study within is as relevant to today as to its original 2016 audience.