I just....don't even know what I just read. I am giving this 3 stars because it was so weird, and had so much there that felt meaningful, even though I don't know what that meaning is.

I will say, if it weren't for the fact that I read this for a book club, I don't know that I would have finished it. It was quite possibly the strangest book I have ever read, and felt so laden with meaning and messages that felt just slightly out of my reach. Maybe that was the point.

Having A as a narrator was incredibly disorienting. She was a character who, more and more, lost sight of who she was. Not that she had a firm grasp on that in the first place, but her grip slipped more and more throughout the course of the book.

There were clearly themes of an obsession with beauty - both inner and outer -- as well as some very clear food issues highlighted mostly through oranges and the non-food-food, Kandy Kakes. As I read the book, I felt more and more like Kandy Kat, chasing after something he was just never going to catch. And, really, I think that was kind of what A did throughout the course of the book too -- trying in vain to obtain something ultimately unobtainable.

I guess more than anything, that was what I took out of this book -- A's attempts at filling the void in her life, despite not knowing why the void is there or what will fill it. I think that's something a lot of people can relate too, a feeling that there's something more out there than you have in the life you're living, but not knowing how to see what that is, or obtain it for yourself. So you settle, find comfort in the routine, tell yourself that things are fine.

Then again, maybe that wasn't one of the messages at all -- I will say I am looking very forward to discussing this book and seeing what comes out of that discussion, and what other people took out of it. While I can't really say I enjoyed the book, there was a lot in it that (for better or worse) stuck with me.