Thank you to my public library for a free copy of this book in exchange for literally nothing (except the expectation that the book would be returned in the same physical state it was checked out in). 

While I’ve heard nothing but praise for Kennedy Ryan and her books, I’ve also heard just how emotional and impactful they can be. Oftentimes I’m not ready to allow myself to be that vulnerable, and dive into a book expecting that it will make me cry. However, I knew I wanted to try one of Ryan’s books before the end of the year, and was able to snag a copy from my library. 

I was so excited after reading the blurb and discovering this was a story centered around Broadway and Hollywood. I was thrilled to live through these characters and garner a special sneak peak behind the curtain into an industry that has driven my curiosity to new heights. I’d watch hours of actor and actress interviews, behind the scenes and bloopers, just to get a glance at what life might be like on set. Contemporary romance isn’t a genre I reach for regularly, but this added layer of interest held my attention from the very first page. 

It’s extremely hard for me to discuss this book, at its core, without spoiling it. What I can say is that Ryan’s writing is beautiful, descriptive, luscious, and captivating. The pacing was just right, and my mind was blown when we had actual pieces of the script included in the novel, almost as a third point of view. The storytelling, the character development, everything was just a truly engrossing reading experience that allowed me to sit back and exist alongside these characters. 

Now. The spoilers. 

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that this story had disability representation for lupus. My understanding of lupus was very rudimentary, and by the end of this book I’ve gained a whole new perspective of the disease. We watched our female main character as she dove into the role of a lifetime, and saw all the subtle ways that role ate away at her health in the process. I knew this would lead up to a flare, but I genuinely was shocked and cursing out loud at this book when it came time for her official diagnosis. As someone who is chronically ill and disabled, I’m all too familiar with that sinking feeling of bad test results and the sit down consultations with new doctors that occur soon after. 

The emotional hits just kept coming, and started in the very first few chapters. A betrayal so deep it tore two sisters apart, the death of a mother that spawned a massive career, and a mistake that turned into a lesson, never to be repeated. Our two main characters were battling their pasts in order to build their future together, all the while trying to stamp down their feelings for one another in an effort to put their film first. I loved the way our MMC was so persistent that they wait. That this film was her big moment and any talk, any gossip, would ruin her chances at her fresh, unadulterated start in Hollywood. I loved that she egged him on, pushing him closer and closer to the edge because she didn’t care who said what about her, or them.  

The sizzle of these characters finally coming together, the clandestine meetings between takes and offset where they wore hats so as to not be recognized by the public, was so well worth the wait. While it wasn’t a slow burn, it was satisfactory. The yearning was center stage while the characters took us behind the scenes of this movie, and this woman's life whose story they were doing their best to get right and get out into the public. 

The commentary on how hard it is for Black people to make it into the industry, the barriers of entry that still exist, and the stories that have been forgotten to time were haunting reminders and beautiful parallels. Ryan is a genius, who not only wrote a book about a grumpy, disciplined, workaholic man falling in love with a talented, bright, open hearted woman, she also wrote an entire plot (with a script) to the movie they were making together. 

I feel like I haven’t said everything I want to about this book, because there simply are so many directions I could take this review. Do we talk about the romance? Do we talk about their families and their past? Do we talk about the industry and the injustices? Do we talk about chronic illness? Do we talk about all the people it takes to make a movie? I could go on and on, but for now I’ll leave you with this. This book was a triumph. This book showcased the harsh realities of being human, and all the emotions that come along with those experiences.