2.5-3—I'm not sure. It started really great, I think the beginning was a 4 for me. Then around 50-70% of the book, I was really annoyed with the direction of the story. But when the ending came, it somehow redeemed all the teenage bullshit. To make things clearer, I'm just gonna list down the things I liked and I kinda didn't like.

liked:
1. The writing. I wanna compare the prose of this book to his debut novel, More Happy Than Not. Honestly, that book was one of the biggest 'mehs' I've ever read. It took me almost a month to finish it because I was bored with the prose and the plot was just slow as hell. But in here, I was shocked because Adam Silvera improved a lot, like a lot, without steering away from his style. The man outdid himself! True, a lot of comic book, novels, and pop culture references tripped me from my reading experience from time to time, but once I learned to ignore them and focus on the scene, I was able to enjoy Silvera's depth of words. So for that, I'm happy for him.

2. The portrayal of OCD and grief were done very well. I think, at some point of my daily life, I am always an OC person. But Griffin's case was just in the extreme spectrum to the point that numbers (whether they are odd or even) disturb him. I thought it was an interesting take, and I saw how it affected his grieving process.

3. The family relationships. Yeah, here's the bitter me and my wishful thinking that one day, the parents in this book would be like my parents, too. People who don't judge their kids who choose partners with the same sex. Supportive parents, yet not in a stereotypical way. There's still a power over them, but that wasn't abused and you know that these parents just wanted the best for their kids.

4. Portrayal of teenagers just having safe sex, being gay, and just having fun in their teens (which I didn't experience) so I'm happy to see it here.

5. The character realization in the end. Despite my issues with the stupid choices in the middle, I guess in the end, things tied up so well. Griffin realized his mistakes, which in any storytelling process, is considered good.

didn't like—here we go!
1. This might be a little spoilery but I didn't like the direction where a sex scene happened between these two characters, saying they were just vulnerable. But in reality, from the first time they met, I felt that they just wanted to bone each other.

2. Also, Griffin was just so selfish (glad he realized it though) for weaponizing his grief and bitterness against Theo. I was like, "Bitch, you broke up with him. It was you who ended everything for these stupid reasons, that your relationship was bound to end anyway because Theo's gonna be away." I mean, I kinda get the hesitation and insecurity when it comes to long-distance relationship, that somehow you reconsider the status of your relationship. But that impulsive action (blame it on the compulsion disorder) just snowballed to those stupid choices, that I wasn't a fan of.

3. Why rely too much on Jackson? Griffin said that he's the only one who could understand him. So what was Wade doing all along?

Spoiler

It was revealed that before Theo died, Griffin and Wade had sex a lot of times and that Griffin had 'fallen in love' with Wade. Then after Theo died, he avoided Wade because he blamed himself, and at times, Wade too because he felt like they betrayed Theo. It just didn't sit with me. That every time Griffin does a compulsive decision, he somehow finds a way to twist everything back to him, putting the blame on him, playing the victim. Ughh. I don't know if this really is the case for people with that kind of OCD, but I really didn't enjoy that part. I'm just not a fan of tropes where a character has this disorder, and he becomes an asshole or something.

So there you have it, friendships. I think 3 stars is still a high rating. I shall take a break from Adam Silvera for now, but I'll read his other books in the future.

Annyeong!