Putting this right at the beginning - as a child of the 90s that grew up surrounded by diet culture and "thinspiration", parts of 'Milk Fed' were extremely triggering for me. Please be mindful of content related to eating disorders, body dysmorphia, fat shaming. and fat fetishizing. Also of note - incestual fantasies.

Rachel is a young Jewish woman, estranged from her family and faith, living alone in L.A. and working for a talent management agency for a frat bro boss. She also has an eating disorder and finds relief in extreme calorie counting, burning said calories at the gym, and restricting her food intake as a way of self-love. Into this regimented world comes plus-sized, earth goddess, Miriam. Miriam is an Orthodox yogurt scooper at Yo!Gurt, a fro-yo place Rachel visits most days for her allotted 16oz cup, that Rachel begins to fantasize about. Miriam seems carefree and comfortable in her body in a way that Rachel cannot imagine. The two begin a taboo relationship that opens them both up. With Miriam's help, Rachel begins to embrace a healthy relationship with food and herself. In turn, Miriam is allowed to explore her sexuality and learn more about herself away from her cloistered family home.

Like the slow, downward swirling manifestation that is expelled fro-yo, the plot of 'Milk Fed' comes back on itself as Rachel examines different aspects of her past, her relationships, and her sexuality over the course of the narrative. There are delightful moments of fantasy and imagination that take us out of the hard reality of Rachel's world view -anyone else want to be visited by a 16th century rabbi in a Chagall dreamscape? There are also positively erotic odes to the fluidity of female sexuality and gender nonconformity. And satirical and humbling looks at what it means to 'self-parent' and allow ourselves the grace to grow.

'Milk Fed; is a novel about food, the body, and sex. It is also the third book by Melissa Broder that I have read, and I believe she is one of the most bombastic and magically self-deprecating writers out there, but while I was reading 'Milk Fed' I couldn't help but feel like she was just trying to shock me instead of crafting a coherent story. It's a messy narrative dripping with melted fro-yo and soggy sprinkles...and that's ok. Life is messy. Our emotions, our relationship with ourselves, how we perform for others, and how we feel about sex, pleasure, nurturing....it can be messy. And even if the book doesn't necessarily end in a happy place, I think it's the perfect way to conclude the story because the reader knows it doesn't end there.