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A review by calcicuivre
When It's Real by Erin Watt
1.0
What a disappointment. What was supposed to be a fun summer contemporary turned out to be a complete mess.
The story is very simple. Vaughn, our main character, is hired to be the fake girlfriend of popstar extraordinaire, Oakley Ford (or, as I Like to affectionately call him, Entitled Douchebag) in order to clean up his bad boy image. It's basically a variation of the fake girlfriend/boyfriend trope. Nothing original by any means, but this should have kept me entertained for the two days I spent reading this ( two days that I will never get back, unfortunately)
1) The plot was very underdevelopped. I felt like I was wading in a series of dull dates and awkward banter that was trying too hard (more on that later). I felt no inclination to continue reading and I had to push myself to finish. The climax was so predictable and unremarkable that I was honestly surprised that what I had read had been the ultimate problem. But the plot, however dull and unoriginal as it was, was not what made me ultimately hate the book.
2) The awkward and sometimes forced dialogue and interactions between our two MCs were laughable and oftentimes cringeworthy.
“Baby?” I scoff.
He leans forward, threading his surprisingly elegant fingers together. “Don’t like that one? Pick another, then. You’re my girlfriend,” he reminds me mockingly.
“So you’re into infants?”
“What?” He rears back. “No. Fine. How about—” he pretends to think and then snaps his fingers “—old lady?”
“Great.” I give him my fakest smile. “I’ll call you…dick cheese.”
Was this supposed to be coherent? Was this supposed to make me laugh? Because it did, but probably not for the reason that the author's intended. It honestly made me wonder if I had mistakenly started reading the uncorrected proof of the book, which obviously isn't a good sign, especially as it was one of the first interactions we see between the couple. It definitely sets the tone for the rest of the book, and I just couldn't take their "banter"(if you can even call it that) seriously after that. It felt contrived and way too forced for my liking.
3)As for our main character, Vaughn, I could not care less if a bus rammed into her and instantly killed her. For me to at least partially enjoy a book, I need to somewhat connect to our main character. It usually is preferable if they have a personality, which Vaughn did not have. She has the oh so tragic backstory of being an orphan, and I could not care less. We are only told that her parents have died, and we get no insight as to their personalities and their interactions with Vaugh personally. It felt like a plot device in order to get more sympathy for Vaughn and her family and the result was that the parents were severely underdevelopped. How are we supposed to feel sympathy when we get no interaction between these characters? An ant being crushed would have garnered more sympathy from me. Her personal conflict is that she feels stuck in life and doesn't really know what to do with her future, which I actually related to, but the problem is that it never gets resolved. If it does, I must have missed it since by the end I was mostly hate-reading the book at the end. She felt very bland, and the little spine she had when she interacted with Oakley felt very contrived.
4) I could have given this book at least a 2.5 stars rating considering all of these issues, but what really pushed me to the edge was Oakley mothereffin Ford. What do you get when you mix the typical bad boy with mommy and daddy issues? Oakley Ford. Nevermind that he was an asshole. I'vd gotten used to that since I read a lot of YA, and if it had been executed well, I could have even enjoyed his character. But his total disrespect and entitlement made me want to sucker punch him everytime I was in his head. His supposed "change" that came about due to his everlasting (or should I say everLUSTing love for our beloved Vaughn came too late for me to even remotely care about him. After reading things like this:
Where does this chick get off, acting like she's doing me a favor just by sitting in the same conference room as me? I'm Oakley Ford.
And this:
...but Vaughn's a babe in her own way. I'd totally want to tap that ass between classes.
I could not possibly warm up to him, even after his actions as a misunderstood star were "explained". *cue eye rolling here*
All in all, I clearly did not care for this book, though my opinion on it seems to be one of the only negative ones. I hope that others will have better luck with it. I, for myself, was left only with frustration to show for my efforts at finishing this book.
The story is very simple. Vaughn, our main character, is hired to be the fake girlfriend of popstar extraordinaire, Oakley Ford (or, as I Like to affectionately call him, Entitled Douchebag) in order to clean up his bad boy image. It's basically a variation of the fake girlfriend/boyfriend trope. Nothing original by any means, but this should have kept me entertained for the two days I spent reading this ( two days that I will never get back, unfortunately)
1) The plot was very underdevelopped. I felt like I was wading in a series of dull dates and awkward banter that was trying too hard (more on that later). I felt no inclination to continue reading and I had to push myself to finish. The climax was so predictable and unremarkable that I was honestly surprised that what I had read had been the ultimate problem. But the plot, however dull and unoriginal as it was, was not what made me ultimately hate the book.
2) The awkward and sometimes forced dialogue and interactions between our two MCs were laughable and oftentimes cringeworthy.
“Baby?” I scoff.
He leans forward, threading his surprisingly elegant fingers together. “Don’t like that one? Pick another, then. You’re my girlfriend,” he reminds me mockingly.
“So you’re into infants?”
“What?” He rears back. “No. Fine. How about—” he pretends to think and then snaps his fingers “—old lady?”
“Great.” I give him my fakest smile. “I’ll call you…dick cheese.”
Was this supposed to be coherent? Was this supposed to make me laugh? Because it did, but probably not for the reason that the author's intended. It honestly made me wonder if I had mistakenly started reading the uncorrected proof of the book, which obviously isn't a good sign, especially as it was one of the first interactions we see between the couple. It definitely sets the tone for the rest of the book, and I just couldn't take their "banter"(if you can even call it that) seriously after that. It felt contrived and way too forced for my liking.
3)As for our main character, Vaughn, I could not care less if a bus rammed into her and instantly killed her. For me to at least partially enjoy a book, I need to somewhat connect to our main character. It usually is preferable if they have a personality, which Vaughn did not have. She has the oh so tragic backstory of being an orphan, and I could not care less. We are only told that her parents have died, and we get no insight as to their personalities and their interactions with Vaugh personally. It felt like a plot device in order to get more sympathy for Vaughn and her family and the result was that the parents were severely underdevelopped. How are we supposed to feel sympathy when we get no interaction between these characters? An ant being crushed would have garnered more sympathy from me. Her personal conflict is that she feels stuck in life and doesn't really know what to do with her future, which I actually related to, but the problem is that it never gets resolved.
Spoiler
She ends up going on tour with Oakley, but she never mentions what career path she chose4) I could have given this book at least a 2.5 stars rating considering all of these issues, but what really pushed me to the edge was Oakley mothereffin Ford. What do you get when you mix the typical bad boy with mommy and daddy issues? Oakley Ford. Nevermind that he was an asshole. I'vd gotten used to that since I read a lot of YA, and if it had been executed well, I could have even enjoyed his character. But his total disrespect and entitlement made me want to sucker punch him everytime I was in his head. His supposed "change" that came about due to his everlasting (or should I say everLUSTing love for our beloved Vaughn came too late for me to even remotely care about him. After reading things like this:
Where does this chick get off, acting like she's doing me a favor just by sitting in the same conference room as me? I'm Oakley Ford.
And this:
...but Vaughn's a babe in her own way. I'd totally want to tap that ass between classes.
I could not possibly warm up to him, even after his actions as a misunderstood star were "explained". *cue eye rolling here*All in all, I clearly did not care for this book, though my opinion on it seems to be one of the only negative ones. I hope that others will have better luck with it. I, for myself, was left only with frustration to show for my efforts at finishing this book.