oh this was super interesting and not what i was expecting at all!

seeing as this is a novella i’m not gonna have…. too many thoughts honestly.

i really enjoyed reading a book about academia and neuroscience research!!!! i’ve pondered going into that field quite a bit, either in neuroscience or research, so seeing them mashed together was a little bonus point from me. sean writing her emotions into academic speak…. chefs kiss. “academia is devoid of emotion” YUP!!! YUP!!!!!!!

also side note but i love the fact the female mc is named sean. idk i love the idea of ungendering names. fuck it names shouldn’t have a gender. also sean is COOL for a woman. we as a society need to name more women sean methinks.

speaking of sean…. whoo she was a doozy protagonist! i mean im reading this for sapphic septemberand its prompt was “disaster sapphics”, so i wanted to see how the sapphics were disasters and…… oh it defo fit that prompt! sean is somehow so incredibly unlikeable and an awful person, yet simultaneously incredibly empathetic. i love a protagonist who is awful and everyone calls them out on their shit, but honestly an awful protagonist can only go so far when the reader wants to gouge the protag’s eyes out. but this book teeters the balance of empathy yet disgust towards sean. god she sucks.

the actual plot itself felt a tad… anticlimactic. idk i expected more…. Horror. this did not feel like horror to me…. defo seems to be more so speculative fiction & thriller rather than scifi horror… but that’s just me. and the whole story itself felt…. idk. boring isn’t the right word. but although i could see the descent into madness, what i was reading wasn’t matching the emotional response sean was producing if you know what i mean. like it made sense… but it also seemed like homegirl was being a bit dramatic. yeah that’s the point but as someone who will sit thru movies going “this shit is dumb why didn’t they do xyz”…. i kinda was just sitting here at times being like “…..why is this bitch going from 0-100 over that”. like her responses were disproportionate even for someone going through what she was. it didn’t make sense logically based on what was explained. and then the climax built up instantly fizzled out… i was just kinda sat there getting excited and then the plot flatlined. 

i really think this book described isolation incredibly well, and anything even adjacent to psychology or neuroscience will get my little brain buzzing with excitement. i won’t say this book was a flop because it wasn’t! but i wasn’t itching to read this book because the plot was good, or i was intrigued. i was waiting for something batshit to happen… and then it didn’t… and then because it’s a novella i might as well finish it.

apologies if this review makes no sense (like my reviews ever do psh) homie is on day 5 of cymbalta 😀 i have slept 16 hours every day i am fried. 

anyways don’t read this book if animal cruelty upsets you 👍