Was this a good book? No. Ok, but was it well-written? Also no. Ok, but isn’t Malerman usually a reliable writer? If by “reliable” you mean “awful,” then yes. Otherwise, no. 

The description of this novel was interesting and was what convinced me to read it, even though I disliked Bird Box and hated Bird Box 2: More Birds, More Boxes. However, after reading three of Malerman’s books, I think I can honestly say that he is a good idea man but doesn’t have any follow-through. 

The paper-thin characters are perhaps the most annoying in anything I’ve ever read. Malerman has no idea how to write children, so why he tried is beyond me, and his conception of women, at least in the book, seems to be that they are irrational and bitchy. 

And as with many modern horror novels, there’s about 150 pages of plot here stretched out to a grand total of 367, which means lots of filler, lots of running around for no reason, lots of pointless conversations that add nothing to the story, and lots of repetition. 

So I can’t recommend this. To anyone. Ever. 

I think the best summation as to why this book is terrible is found in Sadie Hartmann’s back-cover blurb: “This book has actual jump scares!” This cringe-inducing statement should warn anyone thinking about reading it to stay far away, and “Recommended by Sadie Hartmann” should be a universal warning akin to the Surgeon General telling you that cigarettes are bad for your health.

I never want to see the word “Daddo” again. If I could give this no stars, I would.