Don’t eat the pie? More like don’t read this book. Just kidding! But seriously, this missed the mark on so many levels for me. It failed on atmosphere, horror, or even basic storytelling. The premise was interesting, and it had potential for some eerie small-town vibes, but the execution was disjointed, juvenile, and clunky. It felt more like an outline than a cohesive story. It seemed like the author just spun a wheel of tropes and included each one for a chapter or two before moving on. 

 

Energy: Inattentive. Immature. Oblivious. 

 

🐺 Growls The plot was all over the place with too many events dropped in—baking processes, toxic family drama, paranormal shit, pregnancy scares, tragedy, walking around places—all without focus. Any spooky elements were diluted by cheesy melodrama but the kind where everyone is like “OMG!” followed by “hmm, oh well”. The present-tense narration didn’t add urgency, it felt monotone and overdramatic. This disconnected pretty hard every time the perspective switched—swinging from YA friendships and crushes to awkward descriptions of the mother having sex and craving the stepdad’s dick (I think I kept forgetting it isn’t actually a YA so it was jarring!). 

 

🐕 Howls The writing style was too simplistic and spoon-fed. The characters felt like caricatures and their dialogue and inner thoughts didn’t match their supposed ages (both the mom and daughter sounded much younger than they were written to be). It didn’t help that the audiobook narrator made the mom sound weird – like croaky but high-pitched older voice? Too many tedious dream sequences used for heavy-handed symbolism. The “spice” scenes were dry, clinical, and random. 

 

Scene: 🇺🇸 An island in North Carolina, USA

Perspective: A parent of a teenage daughter who is marrying their partner and meeting the family. The 16-year-old child of the parent who is meeting their new (and rich) stepfamily for the first time. 

Timeline: 2010s or 2020s. ☀️ Spring/Summer 

🔥 Fuel: What happened to the neighbour? What’s with the sexism and obsession with reproduction on this island? Are they safe? Are they being used? Who can they trust? 

📖 Cred: Over-the-top suspended disbelief

 

Seagulls caw. Crickets. Beachy blooms. Guesthouse. Bulges. Hospital waiting rooms. 

 

Content Heads-Up: Sexual content (consenting, off page; marriage). Sexism, forced gender roles (character opinions). Loss of parent. Loss of sibling. Parental abandonment (as child; trying to reconnect as teen). Pregnancy complications. Pregnancy (

unwanted

, experience, body feelings; descriptive, on page). Loss of child. Vomit. Car crash (on page, life threatening). Hospitalization (on page experience; incubation, injuries). Death of loved ones. Matriarchy. Body fluids. Blood. 

 

Rep: American. Cis. Hetero. Snow white and ambiguous skin tones. 

 

📚 Format: Libro.fm