the fact that im about to finish the series? hate it. disgusting. i need a million more books.

once again, here are my thoughts in no particular order:

- im slightly annoyed that the title doesn't match the rest? the raven boys the dream thieves BLUE LILY LILY BLUE the raven king. in fact, i wish they were all a lil more whimsical, like this one. i never understood why maggie, who has SUCH A WAY with words, gives her books such bland titles!! i love a spicy title!

- ronan lynch willing to fucking DIE for his pet raven. absolutely brilliant. stunning.

- i marked about seven hundred bits and quotes not because anything was said in them specifically, but because they were so prettily expressed. im OBSESSED i wish everything i read all the time was this lyrical and pretty sounding. "his words were so soft that the wind nearly destroyed them"?? GO OFF!!!!!

- i think about the bit where blue gives gansey the bottom fruit bit of her yoghurt to gansey and hes sad and upset and he gets comforted by the idea that blue's mouth was the last thing to touch the spoon at least five times a day

- the One Death (im not telling so its not a spoiler) fucked me the hell up and im enraged and i HOpE this will make sense in the long run because if it was a pointless one i will Riot

- fine, margaret. fine. i like the gray man. there, i said it. i like the hitman. why, you ask? well. you made me.

- orla pointing out how blue is a little in love with each of the boys, and her realizing that its not just her but all of them that are a little in love with each other? god. im like, obsessed with the dynamics between them. its straight up LOVE yall and i love that because... we often see platonic love as being portrayed as lesser than romantic love and thats ANNOYING AS HELL. and this goes to show that a bond doesnt have to be romantic in order to matter. like, blue doesnt love adam any less just because she doesnt wanna kiss him. she doesnt love ronan any less just because she constantly wants to punch him in the face

- THE FUCKING SCENES. THE TWO TIMES that they're in the caves and ronan has to grab blue to pull her back. the first one was fine and dandy and i loved it for them but the SECOND. where they just stay there for a while, ronan holding blue, blue being held, ronan's cheek pressed onto blue's shoulder? my fucking GOD. GOD.

- ronan being fucking. snow white. just at the barns with his little. his cattle. and the rabbits and the deer that he domesticated for the pleasure of it. how GENTLE he is with animals in general. his pet albino night terror. im just. OBSESSED.

- the begginingsof ronan and adam... i love hiw absolutely nothing happens between them and yet ronan is like. willingly slipping up? the ointment for adams hands. the way he just sits next to him when adam is upset ("i dont wanna talk." "the fuck would i talk about?") the way he doesnt stop being ronan just because he's being gentle.

- i was REAL MAD at blue for a second there, and richard fucking campbell gansey the third just soothed it all over by understanding her so. completely. i couldnt be mad at her anymore. GANSEY!!!!!!!!!! JUST GANSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-hes such a BEAN hes so patient and accepting and careful and brave i would die for him

- i wish noah were more of a character and less of a prop. i get angry all the time on his behalf. HE DESERVES BETTER.

- i felt with greenmantle a similar thing to what i felt with kavinsky: kinda liked the guy. obviously, this was simply a likeable villain, while kavinsky was A FUCKING VICTIM. JUSTICE FOR KAVINSKY. but regardless, he was fun to watch, and so was piper: they red, to me, a bit like characters christopher moore would write? although thats probably a weird comparison? they felt a bit satirical, like a caricature of a character, but like, in a good way. i liked that they played a part but werent a giant thing. you know what i mean?

-i tolerate adam better now that he's not trying to Win Blue Over, hitting his chest and playing The Man and all. he's gotten better and we're making peace

- he remains my least favorite, but im fond of him

- calla is such a Gift.

- i love everyone all the time.

- its all so much.

- only now is the plot starting to actually make sense and honestly? its such a vibe

- i dont want it to end

- but i already started the raven king

- so wish me luck