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A review by imaginary_space
No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
It is extremely difficult for me to review this book because I quickly felt a very personal connection.
The constant need to perform to be liked. Not understanding what others want or expect of you, while they are already angry that you don't conform to their wishes. The constant feeling of being distant, somehow separated from the people around you by a wall you can neither define nor break down. Reactions from those around you ranging from pity to anger to rejection to exploitation. Wondering why you're in so much pain. ("how lucky I was, but I always felt like I was suffering in hell")
In short, feeling disqualified as a human being, not human enough, constantly trying to learn what "a human being" is supposed to be, failing, and losing the things that make you human.
That is why I felt so strongly: This is "Autism - The Book".
And it made me cry.
From an autistic perspective, here's what I appreciated about this book: The protagonist is a massive asshole. The book shows his behaviour and lets us into his thoughts, but it never makes excuses (although the protagonist does). He is the master of his own life decisions and his behaviour towards other people.
In a world where we as autistic people are often infantilised, our actions explained away or excused and our agency taken away, this is a breath of fresh air. By not taking sides, this book shows us that we are always all of these things: a reflection of our upbringing and environment, our mental disability AND the sum of our own choices.
The constant need to perform to be liked. Not understanding what others want or expect of you, while they are already angry that you don't conform to their wishes. The constant feeling of being distant, somehow separated from the people around you by a wall you can neither define nor break down. Reactions from those around you ranging from pity to anger to rejection to exploitation. Wondering why you're in so much pain. ("how lucky I was, but I always felt like I was suffering in hell")
In short, feeling disqualified as a human being, not human enough, constantly trying to learn what "a human being" is supposed to be, failing, and losing the things that make you human.
That is why I felt so strongly: This is "Autism - The Book".
And it made me cry.
From an autistic perspective, here's what I appreciated about this book: The protagonist is a massive asshole. The book shows his behaviour and lets us into his thoughts, but it never makes excuses (although the protagonist does). He is the master of his own life decisions and his behaviour towards other people.
In a world where we as autistic people are often infantilised, our actions explained away or excused and our agency taken away, this is a breath of fresh air. By not taking sides, this book shows us that we are always all of these things: a reflection of our upbringing and environment, our mental disability AND the sum of our own choices.
The incomprehensibility of society is the incomprehensibility of the individual.
[He] at heart did not treat me like a full human being. He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost. His friendship had no other purpose but to utilize me in whichever way would most further his own pleasures. [...] it was entirely to be expected that [he] should take this view of me; that from long ago, even as a child, I seemed to lack the qualifications of a human being; and that, for all I knew, contempt, even from [him], might be entirely merited.
There are all kinds of unhappy people in this world. I suppose it would be no exaggeration to say that the world is composed entirely of unhappy people. But those people can fight their unhappiness with society fairly and squarely, and society for its part understands and sympathizes with such struggles. My unhappiness stemmed entirely from my own vices, and I had no way of fighting anybody.