I'm struggling to figure out how I want to start this review because there are so many things I want to talk about. I usually tend to rate and review books primarily based on my emotions and feelings while I was reading but I don't think it would be fair in this case. If I were going purely off my feelings I would rate it 4 because the irritation that was burning in my veins throughout the book was intense but that wouldn't be doing the story or writing the justice it deserves.

Vampires of El Norte was a fantastically unique and intriguing story following childhood friends who tragically were separated and later unexpectedly thrust together again. Set in 19th-century Mexico, this book weaves a thrilling tale of horror, betrayal, and lost love, following characters on their journeys back to one another and personal self-development. I loved loved loved the setting and the exploration of the inner workings of how life and work were for vaqueros, the original cowboys. Listening to it as an audiobook was amazing as I got to experience the Spanish as it was meant to be said, immersing me firmly in the world of the book since I was free of butchering the language in my head as I read. I don't often read vampire books where the vampire isn't the sexy immortal love interest so this was a great dive into something new to me.

The cause of my irritation lies with Nena. Isabel Cañas does a truly fantastic job of depicting the constricting expectations placed on a well-to-do daughter of a wealthy patrón, accentuating the conditions enforced by an emotionally manipulative mother who is very comfortable in her internalized misogyny (as to be expected). Knowing and acknowledging this in no way protected me from the growing irritation and rage I was feeling both on Nena's behalf and towards Nena herself. As someone who is uncomfortably familiar with having certain expectations being forced upon her by her mother, I can sympathize with Nena's feelings and overwhelming fear of disappointing her family. This in no way means I can condone most of her actions.

Throughout the book, I couldn't help but turn my evergrowing negative emotions towards Nena and her continuous cowardice when it came to her family and Nestor. Again, I'd like to reiterate that I deeply understand her motivations behind each action taken and word spoken, but this just did not protect me from my feelings. In the beginning, I was firmly on Nena's side and deeply sharing her feelings of betrayal but that quickly changed. I found that she just kept making decisions and doing things

-yelling at Nestor in front of the others, not believing him when he was telling her he thought she was dead (even though she was already becoming aware of the effect the vampires had on her when she was first attacked), leaving the battlefield to go back to the Rancho Los Ojuelos despite knowing how that may look (which I don't see as anything other than recklessness), NOT STANDING UP TO HER FATHER FOR NESTOR (though she quickly righted this so I couldn't be mad at her for too long, Nestor is a better and more forgiving person than I am)-

that worked against her.

Don't get me started on her leading Nestor on when she didn't yet have any plan of being with him despite knowing his intentions, even if she accepted her feelings in the end.

The characters in this book (and I mean all of them despite me only addressing Nena) are imperfect and flawed and actively need to learn from their mistakes which makes them so irritatingly real that it would be a disservice to rate this book any lower purely based on the fact I didn't vibe with the main character.