finally, finally an anticipated read that is actually good! this book was everything i expected it to be and more: i was ready for the angst and yearning, but i was not ready for it to be so elegantly written and from the first chapter too! 

the main characters gaunt and ellwood are best friends from school who both believe are in unrequited love with the other. understandable, as it's the 1900s, just before the first world war. but it's so devastating to have this person who you know will be the only person who will ever truly know you (maybe more than you know yourself) who is your soul's other, and to live in a time such as this one. i'd say the war is another main character in the book, with the way it permeates every character and their relationships. it's arresting, reading about these young boys who witness unspeakable things and are forced to do these unspeakable things. it's haunting, to watch what this does to their souls, to the way they love and hurt and hate. alice winn gives every character a story, and shines a light on the way there's no one way of loss in this war, no such thing as being unaffected. i don't usually read war novels but this particular one really ties into why reading only for escapism isn't ideal: sometimes we should read to understand the people around us, that then and now people can still hurt and be scared and love.