So before I finished this book, I bought two copies and had them mailed to friends to whom I think it would be helpful.

I'm biased. I love Ivan. I've loved Ivan for decades. I think they're one of the smartest and most compassionate writers out there when it comes to exploring queer identities, especially as they intersect with class in a when the rubber meets the road kind of way. This book is no exception.

Stuck in lockdown with their wife, Ivan started answering letters, facebook messages and e-mails they'd marked as special and needing a longer reply, and then never found time to get to. The answers are long, messy, poetic, full of pain, and ultimately see through to people in a way that I very much suspect not many ever get seen. Many deal with abuse from outside and within the queer community, struggling with gender identity, relationships with family, trying to feel true when the world keeps pushing back. Ivan answers stories with stories, in a way that's often breathtaking in its perceptiveness and vulnerability.

I really liked how Ivan dealt with intergenerational conflict within the community, several elders wrote to Ivan talking about feeling invisible or rejected, but at the same time many young people wrote talking about seeing themselves in Ivan. This book makes so much possibility feel real. It felt, reading this book, like the queer community doesn't have to eat itself, that would could see each other's vulnerabilities and lift each other up. The two most cutting letters, for me, were the ones talking about suicide among trans youth, and one to an older butch friend that Ivan had found out was transphobic. My heart aches, and I want to give the whole world a hug.

Anyway. Ivan's great. I'm glad they've gotten a publishing contract with wider distribution. Hope they write many books for many years to come.