The audiobook performance by the author was great, and when I finished the audiobook this morning, I was left wanting more (maybe I should pay for his substack). Lots of messy queer partnerships, questions of racial and sexual identity, dealing with internalized homophobia, and honesty about mental health struggles. The chapter that's going to stick with me most is the one about grappling with a sexual assault and trying to forgive oneself for not understanding that's what it was at the time--feeling anger at oneself for having continued to interact with the person that harmed you in a benevolent way after it happened because it hadn't quite clicked yet. I've had similar anger at myself, so it was honestly really helpful to see the author verbalize this process of acknowledgement and forgiveness that we did not have the knowledge or understanding that we do now. Me when a self-help book actually helps me with something :0