This book altered my brain chemistry. I love a book that reminds you: "you are not special" in the most comforting way. I like that Stefanie Foo approaches this from so many angles; interpersonal issues, coping strategies, work, the wide variety of treatment, and ultimately the network and framings that worked for her. Also I think it was an excellent call to put the context of her childhood trauma right away in the book rather than use it as a mechanism to drive the plot through the book. I'll be thinking about this one for a while, and looking up more info about Dr. Jacob Ham, an amazing psychologist who works with Foo through the book.
"Well, what I heard is that you want unconditional love but still no bullshit. Do you want me to care enough that I push you to get better and call you on your stuff? You want me to be both tough and gentle at the same time?"264

"because of its repetitive nature, complex trauma is fundamentally relational trauma. In other words, this is trauma caused by bad relationships with other people— people who were supposed to be caring and trustworthy and instead were hurtful. That meant future relationships with anybody would be harder for people with complex trauma because they were wired to believe that other people could not be trusted. The only way you could heal from relational trauma, he figured, was through practicing that relational dance with other people. "

"It's not the fights that matter. It's the repairs."