I was so excited to read this story bc this premise was cool and have to admit that i was thoroughly stressed the entire book (which is what a thriller is supposed to do, right?). But I didn’t enjoy it much.😅😅 It started strong and fell to pieces so fast, ending laughably. 

~~~mr Koontz has published books??~~~
The writing was sosososo choppy and awkward, there was way too much “witty” banter and strange introspection scattered throughout. Actually some of the worst writing I’ve read in ages.  Not a single character talked like a human being (has this author ever spoken to a woman??!). 

~~~skim skim skim~~~
I had to skim the hit man’s chapters because of gratuitous gore/lewdness (his chapters genuinely did not add a single piece of relevant info). I skimmed the other chapters cause they were packed with stilted observations and asides that didn’t do anything for the story (people walked by; someone was flying a kite; books were on a shelf; boy brought girl flowers). Then I skimmed even more. 

~~~flirting~~~
Also the MMC and FMC spend the entire book “flirting” by answering each other’s questions in cryptic and ambiguous metaphors.🥱🥱 Oh also just after they meet, he says he’d like to bite her lip. And she doesn’t even react, Ew. And we can’t forget that while these two unexplainably and endlessly flirt, they are being actively chased by a killer!!

~~do they rly wanna live?~~~
They just keep using their own phones and credit cards and cars! 🤪 Every chance they have to actually thwart the bad guy is conveniently ignored (let’s shoot his cars console instead of disabling the car!!!)(probably too busy thinking about moving in together eight hours after meeting!!!). 

~~~~ohhhh mysterious🙄~~~~
I knew exactly what Tim’s big Secret Backstory was the entire book- because of the endless supply of hinty hints - but we were all supposed to be surprised that

all his buddies are *gasp* military buddies?!?? And he’s a military hero?!? Cue the LITERAL TEARS and go thank this boy’s mama!!!

~~~that ending~~~
My soul the ending is silly-

huh the bad guy is dead, we never even knew what his deal was after being subjected to his disgusting POV for half the book. Oh also I’ll just pop over to chat with Mr. Presidente and save the whole nation!! 

~~~ugh early 2000’s dudes~~~
Even more Annoying Points awarded for “not-traditionally-pretty-but-unexplainably-pretty-and-not-like-other-girls” girl who likes CaRssss and GuNsssss and she never is scared (why btw lol), her favorite chic flic is Die Hard but she hates watching TV and doesn’t waste her time on AmErIcAn iDoL like all the other useless brainless women!!!!!


Anyways yes I hated this book and will *never ever* pick up a dean Koontz book again unless it’s to throw it in the garbage lol. It gets 1.5 stars bc I finished it