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A review by ladyelfriede
The House Witch 3 by Delemhach
dark
3.5
Note:
This is a huge multi-sectioned review. Jump to where you want, I'm not Kvothe.
IMPORTANT: Parental abuse, grooming, and gaslighting are mentioned in this review
Spoiler-free Blurb:
Chef wants to settle down for an easy life as a Royal Cook.
He is also a witch which he prefers to keep it a secret. But magic isn't his only problem as he navigates the societal ladder of living with people on a daily basis. Much to the disdain of the Royal Cook.
Will the castle swallow him whole or will he turn it upside down to make it fit his own needs?
________________________________
Characters and Terms:
You as a Customer: You were just trying to get weather information on the local news and now this infomercial pops up.
Finn: Imagine Kvothe from “Name of the Wind” and he decided to be a chef, not a bartender. But he has a little more experience with dealing with women.
Witches: People born with magic
Mages: Were not born with magic but can use it. Ongoing feud with witches.
Annika: POC female love interest. Basically, me but as a fierce, rich Adelie penguin. Has a love affair with dealing with her problems with moonshine. Honestly, same.
Daxaria: The main kingdom the books take place in. Think of a typical fantasy town. That’s what this looks like. They have a history with witches when there was a genocide on them. Present day, witches aren’t executed.
Kraken: Finn’s black cat familiar. Has a white tuft of fur on the front like a tuxedo cat. Probably the MC we needed, but never got.
Austice: Capital of Daxaria, castle town.
Crack Fic: Weird combination of elements mixed into a story. Example: Annika decides to work at a McDonald’s and Krakken is the manager
Aidan Helmer: Abusive father to Finn, was separated from Finn since age 10.
Kvothe: A red-haired dude from “Name of the Wind”. You don’t like him, but you can’t help but love him anyway.
________________________________
“The House Witch” Trilogy Abridged:
Are you tired of your favorite dark fantasy not having a happy ending? Do romantasies seem unrealistic to the point none of them seem real?
Introducing “The House Witch” Trilogy!
That’s right folks! You get 3 enjoyable adventures that are so cozy that you can wrap yourself in your favorite fuzzy blanket with a cup of lukewarm bagged tea!
Want a story about cozy cooking and a side of romance? No problem! The first book has you covered!
But wait, I hear you say, what about having all of the first book, but adding parental abuse and gaslighting?!...
What?...is this...in the script? OK, fine, Gregg.
Want a story about cozy cooking with a side of parental abuse and gaslighting!? The second book got your back! (Really, Gregg?)
...Gregg, what the hell is this? OK…
And finally, the third book you’re all waiting for!…
Do you want death, abuse, gaslighting, and toxicity with a dash of humor?! Don’t worry, the dark fantasy- I mean this, “cozy mystery” took care of that!
...Gregg, this is not what we agreed on! Gregg?! Gregg! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
~
Meanwhile, you’re at home with your bag of lukewarm tea watching an infomercial…
You: Huh, this seems like a descent into dark subplots...
I’ll give it a shot!
You take a peek at the window and see someone familiar holding all 3 books at you...
___________________________
Real Thoughts:
The Abridged is my real thoughts in a nutshell.
I will say the prose jumps in quality after the 1st book, so if you’re not put off by anything of the Abridged’s context, then look forward to that.
The reason why I put off this review for so long since I finished it...I didn’t enjoy being baited that the tag said “Cozy Mystery” on Goodreads and then gave me trauma in the form of deaths and gaslighting starting from book 2. Holy shit, it fucked me up for a good two weeks.
I was reading the final book trying to palette cleanse from “Gods of the Wyrdwood” and “Shadow of the Torturer”...Not get a recap of what happened in the latter!
I was hoping the final book we would get more of Kraken, but we barely get much from him. It’s implied that there might be a series that focuses on his events during his time in Daxaria, but it’s all up in the air.
But you may be wondering...Why was I impacted so much by the deaths and gaslighting?
To put it bluntly, I escaped a gaslighter and groomer and I do have constant problems with emotionally abusive parents (it’s healthier than it was in the past but not ideal). So when I read these triggers going on from book 2 onwards, well...Let’s just say, I think my therapist is going to be rich from me one of these days...Thanks, Delemhach.
Anywho, here’s the rundown of what to expect with each book:
Book 1: It’s actually cozy. No deaths, there is political intrigue but it’s more of a flavoring to the book than the meat of it. Romance is woven into the story, but mostly we’re focused on Finn cooking and getting to know Annika. We do get bullying, but it is resolved. A lot of good laughs are had no matter what.
Book 2: Here’s where it starts being less cozy. We start getting to know the castle town of Austice, the underbelly of it, and Finn doing what Finn does best. Getting the story to become a crack fic. We do get cooking and coziness, but we start to know more about the people who were impacted by Finn’s dad, Aidan Helmer, and how much of an asshat he was. It spirals into something a lot sinister to build up in the final book.
Book 3: Do not come into this book expecting cozy times. Yes, they exist, but it’s not the main focus. There are important deaths, parental abuse, and gaslighting galore. Without spoilers once again, it focuses more on the relationship between Finn and Aidan and the problems that arise from the aftermath.
~
Listen, the series is good. I wouldn’t personally recommend all of the books if someone asked me for a cozy time (Only the 1st book I would rec). But if people aren’t put off by the problems I had with the book, then sure, the series is a good time.
I just didn’t enjoy getting PTSD flashbacks.
Again.
___________________
Cover Art:
The artist isn’t known, but we do know that Podium Publishing designed the cover. They did all the covers of the series.
I’m absolutely in love with all 3 covers! The way they used warm colors just to enhance the cozy vibes of the first until it devolves into the seriousness of the final cover...Excellent.
If I could frame the first book on my wall, I would. The rest are fine, however, but that first one is a chef’s kiss.
No matter what, Kraken is on all covers, and by Irad, I wish he played more of a central role from the 2nd book onward, but sadly we don’t get that. Maybe in a future trilogy by Delemhach? Please.
Tags (SPOILERS):
Book 1 Tags ONLY: Fantasy, Cozy, Romance, Food, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Domestic Drama, Cat
The rest of the series: Fantasy, Barely Cozy, Drama, Food, Gaslighting, Parental Death, Politics, Parental Abuse, Death, Mild Gore, Rat Deaths (Book 3 Only), Arsonist (Book 2 Only), Some Humor, Romance
Vibe:
Depending on the book, it varies.
Book 1:
The vibe is chill, with domestic air to it. Cooking in a castle next to a fire, making sure people get food, trying to stay out of trouble/panties, the usual things every person is worried about.
Book 2:
Vibe now floats to suburban air with familial and political drama and stealing away into places that seem seedy. Occasional food and laughs, but not as much as the 1st. Like a usual night out in Stockholm.
Book 3:
Pain, gaslighting, abuse, and more pain. It’s a fantasy drama at this point and the vibe feels like there’s ozone burning in your nose 24/7. And an occasional morbid joke. Like a night before an Indian wedding.
Plot:
Book 1:
The plot is very chill. It mostly revolves around Finn trying to conceal his powers from everyone else, while also maintaining the job as the Royal Cook. There is romance in it and it’s woven into the story, but not the main point of the book per se.
Book 2:
Deals with politics and figuring out the mystery of where hidden troops are located. Dip in romance and coziness. Introduced Aiden Helmer as a more prominent figure in the story and the next book. Gaslighting and Parental Abuse galore!
Book 3: Remember the gaslighting and parental abuse? Yeah, turn it up to 11! The plot focuses more on Finn and Aidan’s relationship and the aftermath that follows.
There’s no easy way around this, it’s emotionally a rough read. A lot of death, a lot of emotions running high, and a ton of drama. There is the usual coziness, food, and humor, but it went down a few notches. OK, more than a few.
There is gore because there is fighting going on and rats do die, so if you’re a rat owner...Yeah. A lot of them die.
Did I like the plot? Sure, for the first 2 books until it got to PTSD territory for me in the 3rd. Once again, your mileage/kilometerage (is that a word?) of how much it impacts you may vary.
Characters:
In terms of who were well-developed characters and seeing them as real people, I can count on maybe two hands.
We get Finn and Anika who feel like real people who have their faults and just don’t seem like giant tropes. Finn seems like a reincarnated 27-year-old Kvothe, but is a little awkward yet, he can be confident when a situation needs to be. Annika has a resolute poise to her and seems perfect but, also drinks her problems sometimes, has her baggage, and a need to do things her way with her stubbornness.
The royal family feel real. The King isn’t a dick just because he’s a dick, he tries to be fair and does the right thing, but is also a human just like anyone else. Loves his bulgogi...Wait what?
There are a lot of side characters as well that I wish we got to see more of but we didn’t get a chance to get to know on a deeper level. That said, they were probably some of the best side characters I’ve read in a story. Not because of their worldbuilding or backstories, but because their personalities just made them loveable.
Pacing:
From what I can remember, Book 1 had a very slow lull-lull-worthy pacing. Which isn’t a bad thing for a cozy book, you want that. For books 2-3, it sorta revs up but still has a slow style of pacing.
You can expect to take half of the time of your usual reading pace, so be prepared.
Prose:
The best way I can describe the prose from Book 1 to Book 3 is like watching a character arc in an anime. It got its level-ups, it got the SO.
You can tell Book 1 is self-published because the prose style is predictable and not fresh in the sense it uses the same sentence structure over and over. Book 2 you will double-take that this is a small publishing house because the prose style is not anywhere near the same as the 1st (in a good way). Book 3 just improves itself from Book 2 that you can barely find a flaw in it and it just goes smooth as butter. Don’t expect poor quality when you get to Book 3.
Worldbuilding:
Worldbuilding is almost non-existent. We get some but you can’t convince me to get a pegboard up and do wild-ass theories of what witches and mages were like in the past and what “defects” could the perfect witch be. It’s not that type of series. You go into this series for the vibe, plot, and characters, not for the worldbuilding.
When we do get worldbuilding, it’s in the form of information about mages and witches, the countries that surround Daxaria, and occasionally backstories of certain characters that also contribute to worldbuilding.
This series uses the Sprinkling Method which when presented with worldbuilding information, it’s not as much and sporadically placed in the book. Nothing like Orderly where there are uniform-sized chunks and can be seen as a separate text. “The House Witch” trilogy does the former, not the latter.
Fix It AU:
The only way I think that could be fixed is with the tags. I never said this for a book before but the problem with this series was how it was marketed and how the tagging followed after it.
For example: when you go into a dark fantasy, you don’t expect there to be sunshine and candy in the last book. You can’t mix that everything is fine when it’s not. It’s like having the character get deus ex machina and everything is fixed miraculously SAO style. You would feel baited and switched.
It’s the same with cozy fantasy. You do not expect parental deaths and abuse to be mixed into a cozy genre. It just doesn’t work together.
Besides that, worldbuilding could have been a little more creative, it took a Robin Hobb route on one occasion which made me go wtf.
But if Delemhach fixed those two things, this would have been at least a strong 4/5 series.
So, Who Should Read This?
Read if you’re looking for a cozy time and are ok with dropping a series after 1 book.
If you aren’t triggered by parental abuse, death, and gaslighting, then keep reading as it is an enjoyable series anyway.
Just be careful of the scary bait and switch if you expect it to be cozy throughout. Gregg is proud of himself.
My Personal Rating:
Book 1: 4.5/5
Book 2: 4/5
Book 3: 3.5/5
Overall Series: 3.5/5
This is a huge multi-sectioned review. Jump to where you want, I'm not Kvothe.
IMPORTANT: Parental abuse, grooming, and gaslighting are mentioned in this review
Spoiler-free Blurb:
Chef wants to settle down for an easy life as a Royal Cook.
He is also a witch which he prefers to keep it a secret. But magic isn't his only problem as he navigates the societal ladder of living with people on a daily basis. Much to the disdain of the Royal Cook.
Will the castle swallow him whole or will he turn it upside down to make it fit his own needs?
________________________________
Characters and Terms:
You as a Customer: You were just trying to get weather information on the local news and now this infomercial pops up.
Finn: Imagine Kvothe from “Name of the Wind” and he decided to be a chef, not a bartender. But he has a little more experience with dealing with women.
Witches: People born with magic
Mages: Were not born with magic but can use it. Ongoing feud with witches.
Annika: POC female love interest. Basically, me but as a fierce, rich Adelie penguin. Has a love affair with dealing with her problems with moonshine. Honestly, same.
Daxaria: The main kingdom the books take place in. Think of a typical fantasy town. That’s what this looks like. They have a history with witches when there was a genocide on them. Present day, witches aren’t executed.
Kraken: Finn’s black cat familiar. Has a white tuft of fur on the front like a tuxedo cat. Probably the MC we needed, but never got.
Austice: Capital of Daxaria, castle town.
Crack Fic: Weird combination of elements mixed into a story. Example: Annika decides to work at a McDonald’s and Krakken is the manager
Aidan Helmer: Abusive father to Finn, was separated from Finn since age 10.
Kvothe: A red-haired dude from “Name of the Wind”. You don’t like him, but you can’t help but love him anyway.
________________________________
“The House Witch” Trilogy Abridged:
Are you tired of your favorite dark fantasy not having a happy ending? Do romantasies seem unrealistic to the point none of them seem real?
Introducing “The House Witch” Trilogy!
That’s right folks! You get 3 enjoyable adventures that are so cozy that you can wrap yourself in your favorite fuzzy blanket with a cup of lukewarm bagged tea!
Want a story about cozy cooking and a side of romance? No problem! The first book has you covered!
But wait, I hear you say, what about having all of the first book, but adding parental abuse and gaslighting?!...
What?...is this...in the script? OK, fine, Gregg.
Want a story about cozy cooking with a side of parental abuse and gaslighting!? The second book got your back! (Really, Gregg?)
...Gregg, what the hell is this? OK…
And finally, the third book you’re all waiting for!…
Do you want death, abuse, gaslighting, and toxicity with a dash of humor?! Don’t worry, the dark fantasy- I mean this, “cozy mystery” took care of that!
...Gregg, this is not what we agreed on! Gregg?! Gregg! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
~
Meanwhile, you’re at home with your bag of lukewarm tea watching an infomercial…
You: Huh, this seems like a descent into dark subplots...
I’ll give it a shot!
You take a peek at the window and see someone familiar holding all 3 books at you...
___________________________
Real Thoughts:
The Abridged is my real thoughts in a nutshell.
I will say the prose jumps in quality after the 1st book, so if you’re not put off by anything of the Abridged’s context, then look forward to that.
The reason why I put off this review for so long since I finished it...I didn’t enjoy being baited that the tag said “Cozy Mystery” on Goodreads and then gave me trauma in the form of deaths and gaslighting starting from book 2. Holy shit, it fucked me up for a good two weeks.
I was reading the final book trying to palette cleanse from “Gods of the Wyrdwood” and “Shadow of the Torturer”...Not get a recap of what happened in the latter!
I was hoping the final book we would get more of Kraken, but we barely get much from him. It’s implied that there might be a series that focuses on his events during his time in Daxaria, but it’s all up in the air.
But you may be wondering...Why was I impacted so much by the deaths and gaslighting?
To put it bluntly, I escaped a gaslighter and groomer and I do have constant problems with emotionally abusive parents (it’s healthier than it was in the past but not ideal). So when I read these triggers going on from book 2 onwards, well...Let’s just say, I think my therapist is going to be rich from me one of these days...Thanks, Delemhach.
Anywho, here’s the rundown of what to expect with each book:
Book 1: It’s actually cozy. No deaths, there is political intrigue but it’s more of a flavoring to the book than the meat of it. Romance is woven into the story, but mostly we’re focused on Finn cooking and getting to know Annika. We do get bullying, but it is resolved. A lot of good laughs are had no matter what.
Book 2: Here’s where it starts being less cozy. We start getting to know the castle town of Austice, the underbelly of it, and Finn doing what Finn does best. Getting the story to become a crack fic. We do get cooking and coziness, but we start to know more about the people who were impacted by Finn’s dad, Aidan Helmer, and how much of an asshat he was. It spirals into something a lot sinister to build up in the final book.
Book 3: Do not come into this book expecting cozy times. Yes, they exist, but it’s not the main focus. There are important deaths, parental abuse, and gaslighting galore. Without spoilers once again, it focuses more on the relationship between Finn and Aidan and the problems that arise from the aftermath.
~
Listen, the series is good. I wouldn’t personally recommend all of the books if someone asked me for a cozy time (Only the 1st book I would rec). But if people aren’t put off by the problems I had with the book, then sure, the series is a good time.
I just didn’t enjoy getting PTSD flashbacks.
Again.
___________________
Cover Art:
The artist isn’t known, but we do know that Podium Publishing designed the cover. They did all the covers of the series.
I’m absolutely in love with all 3 covers! The way they used warm colors just to enhance the cozy vibes of the first until it devolves into the seriousness of the final cover...Excellent.
If I could frame the first book on my wall, I would. The rest are fine, however, but that first one is a chef’s kiss.
No matter what, Kraken is on all covers, and by Irad, I wish he played more of a central role from the 2nd book onward, but sadly we don’t get that. Maybe in a future trilogy by Delemhach? Please.
Tags (SPOILERS):
Book 1 Tags ONLY: Fantasy, Cozy, Romance, Food, Political Intrigue, Court Drama, Domestic Drama, Cat
The rest of the series: Fantasy, Barely Cozy, Drama, Food, Gaslighting, Parental Death, Politics, Parental Abuse, Death, Mild Gore, Rat Deaths (Book 3 Only), Arsonist (Book 2 Only), Some Humor, Romance
Vibe:
Depending on the book, it varies.
Book 1:
The vibe is chill, with domestic air to it. Cooking in a castle next to a fire, making sure people get food, trying to stay out of trouble/panties, the usual things every person is worried about.
Book 2:
Vibe now floats to suburban air with familial and political drama and stealing away into places that seem seedy. Occasional food and laughs, but not as much as the 1st. Like a usual night out in Stockholm.
Book 3:
Pain, gaslighting, abuse, and more pain. It’s a fantasy drama at this point and the vibe feels like there’s ozone burning in your nose 24/7. And an occasional morbid joke. Like a night before an Indian wedding.
Plot:
Book 1:
The plot is very chill. It mostly revolves around Finn trying to conceal his powers from everyone else, while also maintaining the job as the Royal Cook. There is romance in it and it’s woven into the story, but not the main point of the book per se.
Book 2:
Deals with politics and figuring out the mystery of where hidden troops are located. Dip in romance and coziness. Introduced Aiden Helmer as a more prominent figure in the story and the next book. Gaslighting and Parental Abuse galore!
Book 3: Remember the gaslighting and parental abuse? Yeah, turn it up to 11! The plot focuses more on Finn and Aidan’s relationship and the aftermath that follows.
There’s no easy way around this, it’s emotionally a rough read. A lot of death, a lot of emotions running high, and a ton of drama. There is the usual coziness, food, and humor, but it went down a few notches. OK, more than a few.
There is gore because there is fighting going on and rats do die, so if you’re a rat owner...Yeah. A lot of them die.
Did I like the plot? Sure, for the first 2 books until it got to PTSD territory for me in the 3rd. Once again, your mileage/kilometerage (is that a word?) of how much it impacts you may vary.
Characters:
In terms of who were well-developed characters and seeing them as real people, I can count on maybe two hands.
We get Finn and Anika who feel like real people who have their faults and just don’t seem like giant tropes. Finn seems like a reincarnated 27-year-old Kvothe, but is a little awkward yet, he can be confident when a situation needs to be. Annika has a resolute poise to her and seems perfect but, also drinks her problems sometimes, has her baggage, and a need to do things her way with her stubbornness.
The royal family feel real. The King isn’t a dick just because he’s a dick, he tries to be fair and does the right thing, but is also a human just like anyone else. Loves his bulgogi...Wait what?
There are a lot of side characters as well that I wish we got to see more of but we didn’t get a chance to get to know on a deeper level. That said, they were probably some of the best side characters I’ve read in a story. Not because of their worldbuilding or backstories, but because their personalities just made them loveable.
Pacing:
From what I can remember, Book 1 had a very slow lull-lull-worthy pacing. Which isn’t a bad thing for a cozy book, you want that. For books 2-3, it sorta revs up but still has a slow style of pacing.
You can expect to take half of the time of your usual reading pace, so be prepared.
Prose:
The best way I can describe the prose from Book 1 to Book 3 is like watching a character arc in an anime. It got its level-ups, it got the SO.
You can tell Book 1 is self-published because the prose style is predictable and not fresh in the sense it uses the same sentence structure over and over. Book 2 you will double-take that this is a small publishing house because the prose style is not anywhere near the same as the 1st (in a good way). Book 3 just improves itself from Book 2 that you can barely find a flaw in it and it just goes smooth as butter. Don’t expect poor quality when you get to Book 3.
Worldbuilding:
Worldbuilding is almost non-existent. We get some but you can’t convince me to get a pegboard up and do wild-ass theories of what witches and mages were like in the past and what “defects” could the perfect witch be. It’s not that type of series. You go into this series for the vibe, plot, and characters, not for the worldbuilding.
When we do get worldbuilding, it’s in the form of information about mages and witches, the countries that surround Daxaria, and occasionally backstories of certain characters that also contribute to worldbuilding.
This series uses the Sprinkling Method which when presented with worldbuilding information, it’s not as much and sporadically placed in the book. Nothing like Orderly where there are uniform-sized chunks and can be seen as a separate text. “The House Witch” trilogy does the former, not the latter.
Fix It AU:
The only way I think that could be fixed is with the tags. I never said this for a book before but the problem with this series was how it was marketed and how the tagging followed after it.
For example: when you go into a dark fantasy, you don’t expect there to be sunshine and candy in the last book. You can’t mix that everything is fine when it’s not. It’s like having the character get deus ex machina and everything is fixed miraculously SAO style. You would feel baited and switched.
It’s the same with cozy fantasy. You do not expect parental deaths and abuse to be mixed into a cozy genre. It just doesn’t work together.
Besides that, worldbuilding could have been a little more creative, it took a Robin Hobb route on one occasion which made me go wtf.
But if Delemhach fixed those two things, this would have been at least a strong 4/5 series.
So, Who Should Read This?
Read if you’re looking for a cozy time and are ok with dropping a series after 1 book.
If you aren’t triggered by parental abuse, death, and gaslighting, then keep reading as it is an enjoyable series anyway.
Just be careful of the scary bait and switch if you expect it to be cozy throughout. Gregg is proud of himself.
My Personal Rating:
Book 1: 4.5/5
Book 2: 4/5
Book 3: 3.5/5
Overall Series: 3.5/5