i really wanted this book to absolutely blow my mind—and don't get me wrong, it was really, really good—but that ending! i was fully in this book all the way up to that last sentence, and then... nothing. if there had been just a little more closure, i think it would have been a five-star read.

that being said, Ma's writing is deeply hypnotic and easy to follow. even when things are bad, our main character's perspective is deceptively passive and serene. we pass through the book almost as though walking through a thick fog; the true depth of the situation our protagonist finds herself in is obscured by her unwillingness to truly acknowledge it, and it's we as readers who are left to worry for her and urge her on. her aimlessness is heavy and pervasive; her 'everything-is-fine, uphold-the-status-quo' approach to life works until it doesn't, at which point a sense of true urgency sets in and the tension slowly rises to an explosion of anxiety and fear.

this is a really thought-provoking read and i would definitely recommend it to anyone who can stomach a very frustrating ending.