3.5☆ - if you see me repeatedly changing this rating, i'm sorry lmao

the only way i know how to describe this book is eccentric—it's odd but full of charm. in ‘big swiss’, beagin completely deviates from the blueprint for trauma plots. rather than a burdening and bleak look into female trauma, this book is a wry, witty, and sexy dark comedy that delves into queer desire, therapy and medical biases, and coping with formative wounds

beagin presents us with two women that function as opposite models for processing trauma. our protagonist, greta, struggles with a tragic childhood incident. the love interest, flavia (aka big swiss), was brutally assaulted by a man. where big swiss maintains a pedantic approach to life and refuses to play the victim, greta allows her past trauma to shape the present, causing her to live a life void of comfort. these two opposing perspectives clash, creating a seductive and confronting whirlwind of a novel that borders on the absurd

this book approaches a few controversial topics (adultery being a big one) without self-seriousness. it's refreshing to read and is a nice tonal change from a lot of 2023 contemporary “sad girl” or “unhinged woman” releases. it was very bizarre (which won’t be everyone’s thing) and completely unserious at times, while still managing to hit on darker themes and topics with care. despite its quirkiness, 'big swiss' is vulnerable when it needs to be

however, a big issue for me with this book was the frequent racist and microaggressive comments towards asians. ‘big swiss’ is a novel that is meant to be uneasy, but it still rubbed me the wrong way? i think it's sad that the unhinged woman trope is morphing into something that not all women can enjoy