I thought this book was just another book by a smart Irish woman sad about a man and struggling to find herself but it is much more about bodies, control and choices that seem to be made for us as woman who were brought up to be romantically interested in man. the flash forwards were not really useful in my reading, did not offer a reprieve or growth moment which would have made it more balanced. it's quite a grim read on the whole, but my copy contained a delightful interview with the author which made me understand that everything that wrinkled my brow had been intentional. almost all the protagonist actions I seemed to hate appeared to be critique of what motivates young women do this. or not necessarily always critique, just a highlight of these troubles or patterns. particular credit to the way love is portrayed as panacea for everything that befalls us, and constantly reinforced this way to women of all ages actually. there is a breathless nihilism that keeps you turning the page hoping something will change.. but it won't. not for this person. her underlying motivation for everything was overall a bit grey but anyway, impact made and now I intend to proceed with more patience for the anti heroine