4.5 stars. This book was absolutely beautiful. Really really stunning. Incredible writing, and I love how she weaved art history and Picasso (I knew nothing about him but he sounds like an absolute TRASH CAN human) alongside her surgery journey and struggle to fit in and be “normal” in a world that is so cruel to any deviation. Kids are so mean sometimes, my god. It’s not the same, but both my siblings have medical challenges as well (one more severe) and the blatant stares we’d get as children (and even now) are just so obnoxious and make me want to fight people. I think it’s how I developed my best stink eye lol like LEAVE MY SIBLINGS ALONE, PEOPLE, and don’t be dicks.

The way she writes about her physical and emotional trauma, and that of her twin sister, Zan, was just heartbreaking. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through what they have gone through, but I am glad that they had each other to really go through this with, as well as the support of their close-knit family. I really did appreciate the art history bits, as I felt they gave more of a cultural context on what society has typically seen as “beautiful” through the ages, and all of the baggage and complicated historical roots that come with that.

This memoir is a deep reflection on what it means to be “normal/typically beautiful,” societal expectations, and one woman’s journey toward self-love and acceptance and making a life for herself.