but, could this have been done in fewer pages? i wanna say yes, even with so many things happening… maybe it’s my taste, or it’s a feature of writing that did not quite suit this book - either way, it felt like the plot dragged on, to the point i was getting frustrated at times. (only to be met with another paragraph of food erotica - which, btw, could have been a fantasmagestic book in itself - that just made me salivate and open my fridge instead of the next page). 

i think partly this frustration has to do with rather misleading marketing of this book as a thriller about murders, whereas a more accurate (tho less eye-catching i suppose) (tho no less important/interesting!) summary would be “feminism-body standards-desires-food”. alas, here i am, still confused whether kajii did actually kill those men, or are they to blame for being incapable of caring for themselves in the most basic way. i think the answer to that is not yes/no, and a deeper exploration of this responsibility/guilt/expectations in reference to the actual case could have been an interesting thread to read alongside other themes. admittedly, the author mentioned in waterstones interview that the details of the murder case itself did not interest her as much as the public's reaction to it and the immediate lookism (https://youtu.be/Yw5yf2oeiqU?si=QDmKy73siGVL8pB1&t=133), hence her book. (also, i was warned about this at the time of purchase :)

now understanding the idea behind it, what i loved in this book is its resonation with various topics of desire, not solely for food, but also for female friendship, being understood and recognised, being accepted in your body and life philosophy. this was like a series of snapshots of some of the japanese societal standards, which intrigues me and definitely makes me keen to read more of japanese fiction (and some actual japanese thrillers). finally, asako yuzuki consistently weaved in the issues of internalised misogyny (kajii’s hate of feminists and expectations towards women), gender inequality (journalism work), beauty/health standards for female body (fatphobia; also seen sayuri komachi, the librarian from What You Are Looking for is in the Library), infertility stigma (reiko), society's narrow view of why (women) cook (cooking school vs bride-to-be school), and broader patriarchical conditioning (with its multiple repercussions).

long story short, plenty of food for thought.

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food checklist