If you have ever had a variety of painful or difficult experiences occur in quick succession, then you will likely deeply identify with what Sadie refers to as her "very bad year." Losing her boyfriend, job, and apartment results in the loss of Sadie's sense of self: if the qualities that make her "her" are what led to these huge losses, then obviously she has to change those flaws to ensure that she never experiences that pain again. It's an intriguing premise, and one that I'll admit I would have considered during my own "very bad year" - if you had the power to go back in time and correct what you believe were your errors, would you?

As the story unfolds, Sadie is engaged in a constant dialog with herself. Every choice she makes is informed by the ones she made before, every statement she swallows is the result of her thinking she knows how those statements landed in the listener's ear. Sadie's problem is not understanding that there is more than one person impacted by each decision, and it's not always the person she expects.

I say all this to explain that this book can be so frustrating at times. As the reader, we have the view that Sadie doesn't. We can infer why it might be important that her New Year's kiss with Jacob, her brother's best friend, looms so large in her memory. We can understand that her best friend is listening to Sadie muzzle herself in every situation, and how that might impact their relationship. And because we have that knowledge, Sadie's continued lies to herself about how much she is fixing what she lost adds a layer of discomfort to the story. You know she can't get out of her own way, but what will it take for her to see the path? Why doesn't she realize that standing up for herself is the same as standing up for those around her? That her willingness to do so was a feature, not a bug?

It might sound like I didn't enjoy this, but that is far from true. The characters are well-formed, and people like Jacob, Sadie's brother, Kasumi, and the entire coffee shop staff/customer base are so delightful that you want to know them in real life.

I think the discomfort and frustration is from seeing a mirror that shows you your past self, and knowing, deep down, you'd be making the same mistakes.