I received an eARC of this book from the author via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

As a bisexual Filipino, I was eager to read this book that tackled homophobia within the Filipino-American experience so when word got out that there would be a street team to promote it, I was quick to jump on the bandwagon and did my best to spread the word about this book to get enough points to have access to the ARC.

Perhaps I was too optimistic that I would like this book. But before I get into what I didn't like, I'll talk about the good.

Although I had my doubts about how well the aftermath of Pacquiao's homophobic statements would be portrayed, I was pleasantly surprised. The main character's reaction felt very real and raw, owing to how well-written his emotions were. The feeling of disappointment, confusion, and betrayal practically bled through the page.

Despite the multiple conflicts within this book, it also still manages to have a sense of lightheartedness and a cuteness factor that is much needed in queer stories, especially when most of what is published circles around homophobia. I'd say I'm glad this book wasn't as dark as it could've been, which is a matter of personal preference.

But then I had multiple other problems with this book and I'll start off with the smaller ones.

I felt the themes that this book explored were very in your face and the entire cast to be mere caricatures to deliver a message. The side characters can literally be identified as such archetypes as the Ally, the Love Interest, the Bully, and the Wildcard. When the synopsis of the book already explains that it is about homophobia within the Filipino community and the effect that Pacquiao's statements have had, I'd expect there to be a deeper dive into these topics and a more nuanced discussion. Instead what you anticipate is pretty much what you get and nothing more. Main character is inspired to fight because of Manny, Manny disappoints him, but main character rises despite, end of story.

I also felt that a number of things were introduced to the story which promised a closer inspection on some of the themes, but are never revisited or given ample attention when it could have. The book is quite short and I think would have been enriched by those discussions! This includes among others an introduction to domestic abuse and bigoted beliefs as something that can be passed on generationally, drug abuse in underprivileged communities, Filipinos in the healthcare industry, and how bullying can affect academic performance. I didn't necessarily need a well-rounded deep dive into any of them. It just felt that they were there for a purpose but hadn't quite fulfilled them. There was also a kind of third act conflict between the love interests that didn't need to be there. To top it all off, the ending felt rather abrupt and left me unsatisfied.

As for some of my bigger issues with the book, one is that the main characters consistently dig at the antagonist's physical appearance, including the fact that he has acne and is fat. While I understand that these are teenagers who have been abused and harrassed by said antagonist, it certainly does not make me like them. Am I supposed to root for characters who resort to insulting someone's acne and fatness when they dislike a person? Where do they draw the line? And as someone who has been bullied for being acne-ridden and chubby, I cannot help but take offense to such behavior. These aren't insecure grade schoolers, these are older teens who should know better at their age.

I also disliked how much of the dialogue felt unnatural and poorly written. As a reader of juvenile fiction, my tolerance for cheesy and predictable lines is pretty high so I can let those parts of the dialogue slide. But what I found I could barely stand was how awkward certain Tagalog words were used. As someone from the suburbs of Metro Manila, I know full well what English sprinkled with a bit of Tagalog sounds like, from your regular small town Taglish to the more metro conyo. But the use of Tagalog here just felt very off. At first I thought that perhaps I am just not that familiar with how Filipino-Americans speak but from my limited interactions with the few that I do know and from other FilAm authored books I've read, I haven't read dialogue that felt as stilted as this.

Finally, my biggest complaint about this book that docked a star from what could have been a generous three-star rating: the fact that it repeatedly says that the Tagalog word "bakla" is a gay slur. I don't know if any other homeland Filipinos have read this prior to its final edits because this to me was such a blunder that could easily have been prevented. Any modern native Tagalog speaker knows that the only time that "bakla" is used as an insult is when misogynists try to humiliate a man (straight or otherwise) for displaying effeminate traits or behavior. It is not the Tagalog equivalent of the English f-slur which is how it is used in this book. The main character repeatedly takes offense to be called "bakla" when the word literally just translates to "gay" or "queer" which he openly is! On the outset it might seem like a small mistake, but for homeland queer Filipinos who read this it is incredibly Western-centric and dismissive of the decades-long use and reclamation of the word. "Bakla" is our word for "gay" and "sangkabaklaan" is our word for the LGBTQIA+ community. Reducing a word that we celebrate during Pride and in recent years even use as a term for endearment for friends both queer and straight to something as pungent as a slur grossly misrepresents Filipino queer identities.

For these reasons and my general lack of enjoyment of this book does it merit two stars.