Gave me butterflies just reading it!
I really like this book, it’s the first book I’ve read with a transgender MC, and the 4th I’ve read with non-binary and LGBTQIA+ supporting characters. Felix a 17 year old transman trying to navigate love,life, and art in his gifted school at St. Catherine’s. He’s black, queer, trans and most definitely he’s *proud*. He just wants someone who will love and accept them the way he’s been trying to love and accept himself.
After an unknown person at his school publicly shames / outs / deadnames him with gallery photos of his before-transition, he makes it his mission to find out who did this—and find out if there’s any hope for being in love.

This was a cute story that had me cheeking most of the whole way through. I liked that there was a POC trans protagonist—-books and media whether they intend to or not often cast minorities that are “one label” away from being “normal” or acceptable in society’s eyes. There are lots of white gay cis man stories, and an increasing number of black straight cis stories being pushed to the forefront (and their stories are valid and amazing to see on and off screen no less), but a character that’s aware of that, and who has discussions about that with his friends and allows himself to open up about those vulnerabilities with himself is even more admirable. Felix for many reasons other than just being trans, feels at times he’s unworthy of being loved—and ironically despite his trans status, he also feels like the “trans” label may not always fit him—which is a very valid and important thing the author brings to light! Gender and sexuality are a spectrum, and sometimes we find that society’s labels fit us and are more accepting than others. But ultimately it’s we who decides how to define ourselves. And when Felix reaches the end of his self discovery and self love at the end it really made me melt.

Now the bad. Not that there were really any “bad” things about this book, but there was some issues I found with the way some characters ended. The irony that Felix Love —-the character who feels like he’ll never fall in love— finds himself in this warped love triangle (which I feel like, he effed over both people in the situation) is not lost on me. However one of those people in that love triangle gets dealt an unfair hand and I don’t know how I feel. I don’t think Felix ever gave that relationship or that person a chance, even after that person bared their all to him, and I hate when writers try to tease the idea of X and Y getting together (because it makes for good romdrama, let’s be honest), but then X character takes the predictable (and also unfair) route and ends up with Z. Felix is that X. The ending for that left a bad taste in my mouth, especially when Y doesn’t really get a happy ending, and their fears about love and being vulnerable end up being right.


Also I think the last few chapters wrapped up too neatly, which I guess is more of an irk I have with YA novels than with the book itself, but the “villain” in the end had much less of an impact of character arc than I expected. I was surprised, but also confused as to why the author would make villain V be that way.


Overall though, I have to say this is a good book. I hope there’s a sequel I can read to make my heart warm and fuzzy all over