hanya yanagihara, you’re so so terrible for this </3 

on one hand, this is absolutely feels like trauma porn™️, but on the other hand, it’s also just such painfully beautiful book. it’s impossible to not feel both pain and hope, despite knowing there’s so little hope, and the ending is sooooooo. it’s expected, but it’s so sad still. 

i wasn’t sure whether i felt this was a five star read before finishing it. i read to paradise first, which is absolutely a masterpiece. truly a work of art. this isn’t exactly that, but it feels very personal and impossible to not feel so entwined with the story and characters. that by the end of the book, whether it’s truly a five star read or not, it’s impacted me enough to become one.