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A review by ellemaddy
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
5.0
“Who would he have been, who would he be, without the scars, the cuts, the hurts, the sores, the fractures, the infections, the splints, and the discharges?”
I'm a very touchy feely person, I cry after the littlest, teeniest, barely even sad reason. Even when I was little, I was the cry baby and I wasn't even the youngest children in the family. But this book. This beautiful, sad, perfect, door stopper of a book. This one completely ruined my life.
Do you remember the time you told me you were afraid that you were a series of nasty surprises for me?” he asks him, and Jude nods, slightly. “You aren’t,” he tells him. “You aren’t. But being with you is like being in this fantastic landscape,” he continues, slowly. “You think it’s one thing, a forest, and then suddenly it changes, and it’s a meadow, or a jungle, or cliffs of ice. And they’re all beautiful, but they’re strange as well, and you don’t have a map, and you don’t understand how you got from one terrain to the next so abruptly, and you don’t know when the next transition will arrive, and you don’t have any of the equipment you need. And so you keep walking through, and trying to adjust as you go, but you don’t really know what you’re doing, and often you make mistakes, bad mistakes. That’s sometimes what it feels like.”
They’re silent. “So basically,” Jude says at last, “basically, you’re saying I’m New Zealand.”
Willem’s whispered incantation. “You’re Jude St. Francis. You are my oldest, dearest friend. You’re the son of Harold Stein and Julia Altman. You’re the friend of Malcolm Irvine, of Jean-Baptiste Marion, of Richard Goldfarb, of Andy Contractor, of Lucien Voigt, of Citizen van Straaten, of Rhodes Arrowsmith, of Elijah Kozma, of Phaedra de los Santos, of the Henry Youngs.
“You’re a New Yorker. You live in SoHo. You volunteer for an arts organization; you volunteer for a food kitchen.
“You’re a swimmer. You’re a baker. You’re a cook. You’re a reader. You have a beautiful voice, though you never sing anymore. You’re an excellent pianist. You’re an art collector. You write me lovely messages when I’m away. You’re patient. You’re generous. You’re the best listener I know. You’re the smartest person I know, in every way. You’re the bravest person I know, in every way.
“You’re a lawyer. You’re the chair of the litigation department at Rosen Pritchard and Klein. You love your job; you work hard at it.
“You’re a mathematician. You’re a logician. You’ve tried to teach me, again and again.
“You were treated horribly. You came out on the other end. You were always you."
“And who are you?” he asks, looking at the man who is holding him, who is describing someone he doesn’t recognize, someone who seems to have so much, someone who seems like such an enviable, beloved person. “Who are you?”
The man has an answer to this question as well. “I’m Willem Ragnarsson,” he says. “And I will never let you go.”
”
When you see the size of A Little Life you might balk at first. It's thick. I mean, it is thick . But don't let the size of this book intimidate you. If you came across this book and you haven't read it, I'm telling you now. Pick it up and do whatever you must do to own a copy.
This book tells a story about Jude St. Francis and his friends, Willem, JB, and Malcolm. At first the author introduced them one by one by telling the reader a little about them while keeping us completely in the dark about the main character, Jude. It tells a story about Willem's struggle to become an actor, JB the artist (with extensive description about his art, painting, and experiments), and Malcolm the guy who's just there in my opinion. They knew each other in college and became friends even after they graduated. They're all aware that Jude kept a secret about his past and had their suspicions but no one really dared to ask him.
Jude. My beautiful, poor son Jude. He went through so much shit when he was a little kid and not just some average shit either, but really, it's some deep, nasty, awful, the worst kind of shit. He was abused again and again by people he trusted. After he escaped the clutch of his captor, he then managed to get himself into some other awful situation until finally he was free. But even years after, he was still a broken man. He was still trapped. And this book is just a massive collection of extensive trigger warnings: suicide, self-harm, rape, abuse. But with all that horribleness, somehow this book still managed to be beautiful. How?
Despite Jude's past, he became a lawyer and a fierce one too. He had his friends. He had Willem, whom he loved. He had Harold and Julia who adopted him. He had people who cared about him, who was his friends, people he could trust. But Jude was too far gone. Even though he was surrounded by people who love him, he couldn't trust them.
I am sorry to say that this book isn't a happy book. It does not have a happy ending. Most of the time you read this you will cry. But in the midst of all the agony, you will see the beauty, you will see the friendship and love and somehow, it's worth it.
“This time, he keeps his eyes closed, imagining that soon, he too will be able to go wherever people go when they kiss, when they have sex: that land he has never visited, that place he wants to see, that world he hopes is not forbidden to him forever.”
Read 17 september 2015
Reread 24 March 2020
I can’t rate this fucking book. I can’t.
You know sometimes I feel like HY made these characters on the sims and HY just tortures them because she’s bored? oh.. you’re happily eating? Well now i’m setting you on fire and I have removed the door so you’re stuck in this room until you’re dead. Oh.. you’re an accomplished member of the society? Cool.. cool.. now i’m going to make you swim and remove the pool ladder so you will have to swim forever until you’re dead.
It feels like that.
And you know what? Fuck that shit. Fuck. That. Shit.
She made us care so deeply about the characters and then boom, guess what bitch, they’re going to die some horrible death! And guess what??? You’re actually just another character in Hanya Yanagihara Sims household and she’s torturing you because 1. She can 2. It’s fun
Isn’t it just so neat?????
I’m glad I lost my copy of this book because honestly i would never read this again. NO SIR. I hope whoever has my copy now suffer the way that i did, TWICE. good fucking bye!
I'm a very touchy feely person, I cry after the littlest, teeniest, barely even sad reason. Even when I was little, I was the cry baby and I wasn't even the youngest children in the family. But this book. This beautiful, sad, perfect, door stopper of a book. This one completely ruined my life.
Do you remember the time you told me you were afraid that you were a series of nasty surprises for me?” he asks him, and Jude nods, slightly. “You aren’t,” he tells him. “You aren’t. But being with you is like being in this fantastic landscape,” he continues, slowly. “You think it’s one thing, a forest, and then suddenly it changes, and it’s a meadow, or a jungle, or cliffs of ice. And they’re all beautiful, but they’re strange as well, and you don’t have a map, and you don’t understand how you got from one terrain to the next so abruptly, and you don’t know when the next transition will arrive, and you don’t have any of the equipment you need. And so you keep walking through, and trying to adjust as you go, but you don’t really know what you’re doing, and often you make mistakes, bad mistakes. That’s sometimes what it feels like.”
They’re silent. “So basically,” Jude says at last, “basically, you’re saying I’m New Zealand.”
Willem’s whispered incantation. “You’re Jude St. Francis. You are my oldest, dearest friend. You’re the son of Harold Stein and Julia Altman. You’re the friend of Malcolm Irvine, of Jean-Baptiste Marion, of Richard Goldfarb, of Andy Contractor, of Lucien Voigt, of Citizen van Straaten, of Rhodes Arrowsmith, of Elijah Kozma, of Phaedra de los Santos, of the Henry Youngs.
“You’re a New Yorker. You live in SoHo. You volunteer for an arts organization; you volunteer for a food kitchen.
“You’re a swimmer. You’re a baker. You’re a cook. You’re a reader. You have a beautiful voice, though you never sing anymore. You’re an excellent pianist. You’re an art collector. You write me lovely messages when I’m away. You’re patient. You’re generous. You’re the best listener I know. You’re the smartest person I know, in every way. You’re the bravest person I know, in every way.
“You’re a lawyer. You’re the chair of the litigation department at Rosen Pritchard and Klein. You love your job; you work hard at it.
“You’re a mathematician. You’re a logician. You’ve tried to teach me, again and again.
“You were treated horribly. You came out on the other end. You were always you."
“And who are you?” he asks, looking at the man who is holding him, who is describing someone he doesn’t recognize, someone who seems to have so much, someone who seems like such an enviable, beloved person. “Who are you?”
The man has an answer to this question as well. “I’m Willem Ragnarsson,” he says. “And I will never let you go.”
”
When you see the size of A Little Life you might balk at first. It's thick. I mean, it is thick . But don't let the size of this book intimidate you. If you came across this book and you haven't read it, I'm telling you now. Pick it up and do whatever you must do to own a copy.
This book tells a story about Jude St. Francis and his friends, Willem, JB, and Malcolm. At first the author introduced them one by one by telling the reader a little about them while keeping us completely in the dark about the main character, Jude. It tells a story about Willem's struggle to become an actor, JB the artist (with extensive description about his art, painting, and experiments), and Malcolm the guy who's just there in my opinion. They knew each other in college and became friends even after they graduated. They're all aware that Jude kept a secret about his past and had their suspicions but no one really dared to ask him.
Jude. My beautiful, poor son Jude. He went through so much shit when he was a little kid and not just some average shit either, but really, it's some deep, nasty, awful, the worst kind of shit. He was abused again and again by people he trusted. After he escaped the clutch of his captor, he then managed to get himself into some other awful situation until finally he was free. But even years after, he was still a broken man. He was still trapped. And this book is just a massive collection of extensive trigger warnings: suicide, self-harm, rape, abuse. But with all that horribleness, somehow this book still managed to be beautiful. How?
Despite Jude's past, he became a lawyer and a fierce one too. He had his friends. He had Willem, whom he loved. He had Harold and Julia who adopted him. He had people who cared about him, who was his friends, people he could trust. But Jude was too far gone. Even though he was surrounded by people who love him, he couldn't trust them.
I am sorry to say that this book isn't a happy book. It does not have a happy ending. Most of the time you read this you will cry. But in the midst of all the agony, you will see the beauty, you will see the friendship and love and somehow, it's worth it.
“This time, he keeps his eyes closed, imagining that soon, he too will be able to go wherever people go when they kiss, when they have sex: that land he has never visited, that place he wants to see, that world he hopes is not forbidden to him forever.”
Read 17 september 2015
Reread 24 March 2020
I can’t rate this fucking book. I can’t.
You know sometimes I feel like HY made these characters on the sims and HY just tortures them because she’s bored? oh.. you’re happily eating? Well now i’m setting you on fire and I have removed the door so you’re stuck in this room until you’re dead. Oh.. you’re an accomplished member of the society? Cool.. cool.. now i’m going to make you swim and remove the pool ladder so you will have to swim forever until you’re dead.
It feels like that.
And you know what? Fuck that shit. Fuck. That. Shit.
She made us care so deeply about the characters and then boom, guess what bitch, they’re going to die some horrible death! And guess what??? You’re actually just another character in Hanya Yanagihara Sims household and she’s torturing you because 1. She can 2. It’s fun
Isn’t it just so neat?????
I’m glad I lost my copy of this book because honestly i would never read this again. NO SIR. I hope whoever has my copy now suffer the way that i did, TWICE. good fucking bye!