Hmm I have pretty mixed emotions about this book tbh. It started off really really strong because the overall premise is amazing and seeing a character struggling with grief despite having a job that surrounds them with it on a daily basis was very interesting, very reflective and the author did a very good job of displaying such a vulnerable emotion so poetically. I also really enjoyed all the comments about mother-daughter dynamics, the exploration of a grieving family, failed marriages and what it actually means to be a father. That was all great. 

My main issue was the ENTIRE middle part of the book 😭 I’m not really against the whole BDSM/sex as a form of dissociation thing because I, honestly, think that if it was explored properly it would’ve been a very interesting insight into the protagonist’s mental state. That’s the thing though… it wasn’t explored properly. It felt rushed and silly, almost like it was thrown in just to bulk up the book. That whole section is the reason why I just can’t rate this anymore than a 3.25. 

Also… this book… wasn’t funny? Lmao… like I didn’t really laugh once. All the parts that I assume were attempts at “dark humour” were actually just very uncomfortable which didn’t really take away from the book since they made me feel even more sorry for the characters. 

Still, the writing style was good and this was a pretty decent debut novel. I’ll be looking out for things from this author in the future.