I’ve read a lot of books in my lifetime. So many stories have helped me learn about the world…places I’ll never visit and people who’s experiences are very different from my own…and a few very special books have helped me learn about myself.
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It’s been a bit of a surprise each time, but perhaps never as much as with Loveless. As an almost 44 year old woman in a committed, loving, heterosexual relationship of 25 years-I didn’t expect a queer YA story to help me realize my own sexual identity, but that’s exactly what it did. 
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I’ve known for years that my attraction to others wasn’t gender specific. I’m comfortable with that aspect of my sexuality and it’s always been accepted by my partner.  I’ve also known the way I think and feel (or don’t think and feel) about sex is very different from my partner and seemingly everyone else I know.  My partner has even mentioned asexuality in the past when I’ve tried to explain what goes on in my head…that word just felt very abstract and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. 
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While I didn’t identify with the specific way the main character felt about sex and romance, there were so many things that I did identify with-some from the main character-others introduced through dialogue, side characters, and research mentioned throughout the story. Reading Loveless is the first time I’ve seen anyone, real or fictional, talking about sex and thought “YES! That’s it; that’s exactly how I feel/think.”
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I didn’t realize how important it was for that part of me to be seen, until it instantly brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. I’ve realized that I don’t need to do anything about my sexuality. I have an amazing partner and I’m extremely happy and fulfilled in our relationship. What will change is how comfortable I feel with my sexual identity because I know I’m not alone. Thank you @aliceoseman for writing stories that help people feel seen and loved 🥰