I was gifted this book and went into it blind (I didn't read what the book is about beforehand).

To quote another user's review: "This is like a fever dream without a real point and I wasn’t sure what was real and what was not."

For starters, this book should have many a trigger warning. As someone with a moderate anxiety disorder, this book was very triggering. The first 45% of the book was tense and fast-paced, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I pushed myself to continue in the hopes of getting some clarity. In the second part of the book,

when Samantha is back with Ava,

my entire body gave a sigh of relief, since I thought

that Samantha is now safe and

all will be revealed or explained. But alas, this was not the case, and my relief was short-lived. I literally pushed myself to continue reading, so that I can get to the part where all is explained, but *spoiler alert* this part of the book does not exist. 

The first half of the book was entirely focused on the bunnies and Samantha. Then, in the second half, it's like the focus shifts completely to Max.

When I finished the book, my biggest issue was the fact that I still didn't understand WTF I just read. Nothing made any sense to me. If that is the purpose of the book, then I guess it succeeded, but I didn't find it enjoyable.

I didn't understand what or who was or wasn't real, and not in a good way. 

In terms of Samantha, there was no character development.

She remained a whiny, "silently screaming" annoyance until the end. Not once in the entire book did she act on the voice in her head to "RUN" or "leave"

. She is hypocritical, judgemental and pretentious, and in my opinion, not a likeable character. 

The same goes for Ava. Although she's not a whiny little B, she too is pretentious and judgemental.

Although both Samantha and Ava claim to care deeply for each other, they never truly let each other in. Their relationship feels surface-level to me, and thus I don't really care for either of them, which is problematic since they are two of the main characters.

The only time I liked Ava was when she 'saved' Samantha from the Bunnies by grabbing her into the alley. But then in the diner she told Samantha she's leaving. Was she really going to leave, and if so, what was her plan? She didn't leave their shithole town, so was she just talking about leaving the diner? What did she discuss with the Bunny outside the diner in the parking lot?

Why did Samantha tell Jonah she lost a book, and not a person?

Then, we have the bunnies. Like I mentioned previously, a massive part of the book is focused on them. Their writing, their weird wardrobes and sugar addictions, their cocktail concoctions, Slut Salon, their bunny Darling Drafts, text messages, etc. But when I finished the book I was like, WTF was the point of the bunnies at all? I feel like there was no real purpose for this group of toxic women. No golden thread to tie things together.

What was the bunny magic they practiced and where did it come from? Why bunnies? And why the ritual in the first place, and at all? Just... WHY? Why did they trust Samantha to let her into their gory practice? The bunnies are described as a cult, but I didn't get the idea that they were actively working to recruit new members.

At some point I understood that the serial decapitators and rapists were the bunny Darling Drafts that were let loose, or perhaps the bodies of the ones who's heads exploded, but was this entire plot just part of Samantha's imagination? If so, I feel there was not enough to the story, no clarity. It's just another part of fluff that could have been left out, like the fact that the town's people were all constantly running down streets screaming, or shouting expletives in diners.

Who was the woman in the red dragon robe?

There are grammatical errors in the last two parts of the book (incorrect word order and repeated words like "or or"), that at first I thought were just errors, but then I thought maybe they are intentional. If that's the case, I don't know what the purpose is. 

The complete overuse of descriptions

for the way a character is looking at someone, or looking at someone looking at someone else (are you for real??), the colour or depth of someone's eyes (what are 'swim colours', please?), the multi-layered scents of all the characters (green tea and salt water and vanilla frosting and moss and smoke and burnt things), the lame and outdated pop-culture references (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind smile? WHAT does that look like?)

- if these were excluded the book would be half the size. 

Is this book supposed to be an insight into the mind of someone who is Schizophrenic or has BPD? If it is, I don't think it's successful in conveying that message. There's really no mention of mental health treatment, and I feel too little for the reader to put two and two together. I don't feel like there was much substance to the book at all. No deep meaning. No clear message about womanhood or toxic relationships. Why was the only 'good' character in the book, Jonah? A man?

And was he even real in the end?

I should have known this wasn't going to be my cup of tea when I saw a review by Lena Dunham on the cover. 

I won't be recommending this book to anyone, and if I could turn back time I would DNF it. I seriously could have gone without finishing it. It left me with too many questions that I don't even want the answers to.